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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Easter Baskets
To Hell In An Easter Basket
The Devil, wearing an eye catching pastel tie with his usual impeccably tailored suit, strode into my living room with such determination that I feared he was coming to claim my eternal soul. Instead, he slammed an Easter Basket down … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Writing
Tagged Easter, Easter Baskets, Easter Bunny, hell, Humor, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, short story, The Devil
4 Comments
Chocolate Trumps All The Rage This Easter
Chocolate Trumps are going to be HUUUUUGE this Easter, Modern Philosophers! According to data supplied by both the Republican Party and the Easter Bunny, sales of Chocolate Trumps have skyrocketed to the point that they could easily clear any border … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Politics
Tagged Donald Trump, Easter, Easter Baskets, Easter Candy, food, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Never Trump, Politics, sarcasm, satire
10 Comments
Pope Francis To Permit Delivery Of Easter Baskets To Maine Zombies
There’s breaking news coming out of the Vatican tonight, Modern Philosophers! Pope Francis has just announced that he has agreed to allow the Easter Bunny to deliver Easter Baskets to Maine’s Zombie population on Easter Sunday. The Holy Father, who … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Easter, Easter Baskets, Easter Bunny, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Pope Francis, Religion, Sarcasm, satire, Zombies
21 Comments
DEA Asks Easter Bunny To Not Buy His Grass From Colorado Or Washington
Spring is here, Modern Philosophers, which means that Easter is just around the corner. As I revealed to you on the blog last year, the Easter Bunny spends a lot of time in Maine because a majority of the items … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged DEA, Easter, Easter Baskets, Easter Bunny, grass, Humor, legalize, marijuana, Modern Philosopher, pot, Sarcasm, satire
10 Comments
Easter Bunny Needs To Bail Out Maine Farmers Arrested For Growing His “Special Grass”
The Easter Bunny had to make an unscheduled stop in Maine today to post bail for a half dozen farmers who grow and harvest the special grass he uses in Easter Baskets. Out of respect for the farmers, and because … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Politics
Tagged agriculture, Comedy, Easter, Easter Baskets, Easter Bunny, farmers, grass, Maine, Modern Philosopher, News, satire
21 Comments
Easter Bunny Struggles To Keep Up With Mainers’ Requests For Chocolate Lobsters
A spokesman for the Easter Bunny today revealed that his boss is having a hard time keeping up with requests from Maine children, who are asking for chocolate lobsters in their Easter baskets. “I think it started as a joke,” … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Easter, Easter Baskets, Easter Bunny, Humor, lobster, Maine, Modern Philosopher, satire
53 Comments