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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.Meta
Tag Archives: Easter Candy
2 Tired 2 Be Hilarious
I don’t know if anyone let you in on the secret, Modern Philosophers, but today is Monday. In case I woke up not knowing what day it was, I was quickly aware that today was the Mondayest of Mondays. And, … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor
Tagged blogging, Easter Candy, exercise, exhausted, fitness challenge, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Monday, sarcasm, satire
13 Comments
Pope Okays Chocolate Eucharist For Easter Mass
Pope Francis gave Catholics an early Easter present today, Modern Philosophers, when he announced that he has approved the use of chocolate Eucharists by churches at Easter Sunday Mass. The move, which drove old school Catholics to their rosaries to … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged Easter, Easter Bunny, Easter Candy, Easter Sunday Mass, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Pope Francis, Religion, sarcasm, satire, what we celebrate on Easter
7 Comments
Feeling Berned: Easter Candy Rejoins The Other 99%
After securing big wins this weekend over Hillary Clinton in Alaska, Hawaii, and Washington, Modern Philosophers, Democratic Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders kept up his winning streak today. “It is with great pride that I announce that Easter candy, which has … Continue reading
Chocolate Trumps All The Rage This Easter
Chocolate Trumps are going to be HUUUUUGE this Easter, Modern Philosophers! According to data supplied by both the Republican Party and the Easter Bunny, sales of Chocolate Trumps have skyrocketed to the point that they could easily clear any border … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Politics
Tagged Donald Trump, Easter, Easter Baskets, Easter Candy, food, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Never Trump, Politics, sarcasm, satire
10 Comments
A Cavity Creeps Love Letter
Dear Easter Bunny, Happy Easter! We just wanted to write a quick letter to tell you how much we enjoy the amazing work you do this time every year. The world would be a much better place if there were … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged cavities, cavity creeps, Easter, Easter Basket, Easter Bunny, Easter Candy, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, teeth
6 Comments
Surprise Papal Visit Leads To Dirty Forehead And Easter Candy Cravings
The Nuns are going to punish me harshly for saying this, Modern Philosophers, but I forgot that today is Ash Wednesday. It was so much easier when I was growing up in Brooklyn and going to Catholic School. There was … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Ash Wednesday, Easter, Easter Candy, Humor, Lent, Modern Philosopher, Nuns, Pope Francis, Religion, Sarcasm, satire
6 Comments
Family Of Original Model For Peeps Marshmallow Bunnies Sues For Unpaid Royalties
As Easter Sunday quickly approaches and the Easter Bunny and his minions work to fill the Easter Baskets of children all over the world, a lawsuit has hopped onto the scene which could affect the holiday for years. According to … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Bunny, Easter, Easter Bunny, Easter Candy, Humor, Marshmallow Peeps, Modern Philosopher, satire
28 Comments
