-
Recent Posts
-
Join 20,115 other followers
Follow me on Twitter
My TweetsBlog Stats
- 1,293,278 hits
Categories
Copyright
© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2022. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Meta
Tag Archives: Elves
Sessions Wouldn’t Use Elfin Magic To Stop The Caravan
President Trump’s reason for firing fun size Attorney General Jeff Session is becoming a little clearer, Modern Philosophers. My source inside the White House informs me that the original theory floating around the internet is a complete fabrication. “President Trump … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Politics
Tagged Attorney General, Donald Trump, Elves, Humor, Jeff Sessions, Magic, Modern Philosopher, Politics, sarcasm, satire, Trump's caravan
10 Comments
Star Wars Fever Severely Disrupts North Pole Toy Production
A long time ago, at a workshop far, far away… Santa’s Elves were hard at work making the toys that good little girls and boys all over the world will be receiving on Christmas. That was, until Star Wars Fever … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor
Tagged Christmas, Elves, Humor, Modern Philosopher, North Pole, Santa Claus, Santa's Workshop, sarcasm, satire, Star Wars, The Force Awakens
4 Comments
Mrs. Claus Working To Improve Elf Literacy
The House on the Hill welcomed a special guest from The North Pole today, Modern Philosophers. Mrs. Claus surprised me with a Writer’s Day visit, and I couldn’t have been more thrilled. “I knew from reading your blog that you … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Books, Christmas, Elves, Humor, literacy, Modern Philosopher, Mrs. Claus, North Pole, Reading, Sarcasm, satire
2 Comments
North Pole Denies Closings Are Due To Ebola Scare
Despite what you might have heard, Modern Philosophers, there is no Ebola scare at The North Pole. While it is true that The North Pole Police Department has closed all entry points to Santa’s home, the Ebola rumors rocketing around … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged CDC, Christmas, ebola, Elves, health, Humor, Modern Philosopher, North Pole, Santa Claus, Sarcasm, satire
20 Comments
Wednesday Morning Eggnog Club: Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas, Modern Philosophers! A Hump Day Christmas is supposed to mean a year of good luck for the camels in your life, so I’m guessing those of you who own a camel are pretty excited. Just wanted to take … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged eggnog, Elves, Humor, Hump Day, Merry Christmas!, Modern Philosopher, Santa Claus, Sarcasm, satire
8 Comments
Several Of Santa’s Elves Arrested For Selling Spots On The Nice List
As the calendar turns to December, it looks like scandal has rocked the North Pole, Modern Philosophers. My sources at Santa’s Village tell me that North Pole Police raided Santa’s Workshop just after 9:00AM, and arrested several Elves, who have … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged crime, Elves, Humor, Modern Philosopher, naughty, nice, North Pole, Santa Claus, Sarcasm, satire, scandal
43 Comments
Elf Growth Spurt Jeopardizes North Pole Toy Production
It must be something in the water, Modern Philosophers. That’s the only theory North Pole Scientists have been able to come up with to explain the bizarre growth spurt that has affected the Elf population in Santa’s Village over the … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Christmas, Elves, giant elves, Humor, Modern Philosopher, North Pole, Robot Apocalypse, Santa Claus, Sarcasm, satire, Toys
20 Comments