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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: fashion
Has Anyone Seen My Formal Sweatpants?
I know someone, Modern Philosophers, who once explained to me that he always wears a suit to work because he dresses for the job he wants. Apparently, I really want to be a writer (or maybe an eccentric recluse), because … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged coronavirus, Covid 19, fashion, Humor, lock down fashionista, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, social distancing, stay at home, writing
6 Comments
Formal Friday Will Return Order To The Chaos
If clothes truly do make the man, Modern Philosophers, then I’m afraid to find out exactly what I’ve created here during this extended period of isolation. The governor’s stay at home order has turned me into something the fashionistas might … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged coronavirus, Covid 19, fashion, Humor, isolation, Mad Men, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, social distancing, stay at home order
2 Comments
No Suits For You!
A friend recently asked if I had a suit for an upcoming function, Modern Philosophers. First off, I told her, I don’t do functions. I’m a devout Introvert, and I take the Commandments quite seriously… Thou shalt not go out … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged fashion, Humor, introverts, life, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, style, suits, The Nite Show
19 Comments
The Mullet Shirt
I’m often asked how my mind works, Modern Philosophers, and that’s not an easy question to answer. Basically, it’s non-stop circus music providing a soundtrack for dozens of voices shouting story ideas at me. And since each voice believes its … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged fashion, Humor, Modern Philosopher, mullets, overheard conversation, sarcasm, satire, the creative process
5 Comments
Do They Know They’re Christmas Ties At All?
I might not put up a Christmas tree, exchange gifts, decorate The House on the Hill, go to any holiday parties, or bring anyone some figgy pudding, but there is one Christmas tradition I hold sacred, Modern Philosophers… The Festival … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas, Humor
Tagged Christmas, Christmas ties, fashion, holiday spirit, Humor, in-laws, life, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, Tabasco ties
10 Comments
The Ugly Sweater That Wasn’t Ugly
Once upon a time, in a seldom used closet at The House on the Hill, hung an ugly Christmas sweater. Purchased at The Gap by The Girl Who Moved Away, the most unique thing about this ugly sweater was that … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas, Humor, Love
Tagged Christmas, Christmas in Maine, Fairy Tales, fashion, Freddy Krueger, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, ugly sweater party
14 Comments
Friends Can Make It A Wonderful Life
It’s A Wonderful Life is one of my all-time favorite movies, Modern Philosophers. The first time I ever saw it was during Film class in high school. Yes, my super special nerd high school came complete with a Film class, … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged dealing with loss, fashion, feeling empty, friends, Humor, It's a Wonderful Life, loneliness, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, sarcasm, satire
10 Comments
Suit Up, You Handsome Devil
“Come on. Let me see you,” The Devil urged with a chuckle from the couch. “No way,” I shouted back from the dining room far from his curious eyes. “There’s no way I’m letting anyone see me like this.” “You’re … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Writing
Tagged fashion, flash fiction, How I Met Your Mother, Humor, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, short story, suits, The Devil
2 Comments
The Jedi Retail Mind Trick
“These are definitely the Star Wars shirts you are looking for!” — Young Ben Kenobi, Men’s Department Associate Everyone knows that the Jedi Mind Trick is a powerful weapon, Modern Philosophers, but few people realize that it is the Jedi … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged advertising, fan boy, fashion, Humor, Jedi, Jedi Mind Trick, Modern Philosopher, movies, sarcasm, satire, Star Wars
10 Comments
The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Pitchfork
“Father’s Day. Am I right or what?” I looked up to find The Devil standing in front of me. He held out a bottle of Snapple, which I snapped up greedily. I’d been writing and had totally lost track of … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Writing
Tagged Dad, fashion, Father's Day, fiction, Humor, kids, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, short story, The Devil
14 Comments