Tag Archives: Father Time

2017 Promises Not To Suck

Posted on December 31, 2016 by

In a hastily called news conference just hours before the Times Square ball drop, Father Time promised that 2017 will not suck like 2016 did, Modern Philosophers. “I resolve that the @#$% stops with me, and Baby New Year will … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Father Time Stuns World By Signing One Year Extension

Posted on December 28, 2015 by

In a stunning development, Father Time announced today that he has signed a one year contract extension, Modern Philosophers. While the terms of this unprecedented deal were not immediately disclosed, it is definitely the biggest move of the free agent … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Father Time Resolves To Fight Forced Retirement

Posted on December 30, 2014 by

“Baby New Year can cry all he wants, but he’s not getting my job!” declared an irate Father Time as he stood on the steps outside the courthouse in downtown Bangor.  “I will retire under my own terms, and I … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 30 Comments

Father Time Admits To Being A Total @#$%^& In 2013

Posted on December 31, 2013 by

Father Time stopped by The House on the Hill to come clean about his behavior in 2013 before he clocked out at midnight and turned the business over to Baby New Year. “I was a total @#$%^& this year,” Father … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Father Time Alleges Age Discrimination; Resolves to Fight Forced Retirement

Posted on December 29, 2013 by

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
“Baby New Year can cry all he wants, but he’s not getting my job!” declared an irate Father Time as he stood on the steps outside the courthouse in downtown Bangor. …

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments