Tag Archives: Father Time

2017 Promises Not To Suck

In a hastily called news conference just hours before the Times Square ball drop, Father Time promised that 2017 will not suck like 2016 did, Modern Philosophers. “I resolve that the @#$% stops with me, and Baby New Year will … Continue reading

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Father Time Stuns World By Signing One Year Extension

In a stunning development, Father Time announced today that he has signed a one year contract extension, Modern Philosophers. While the terms of this unprecedented deal were not immediately disclosed, it is definitely the biggest move of the free agent … Continue reading

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Father Time Resolves To Fight Forced Retirement

“Baby New Year can cry all he wants, but he’s not getting my job!” declared an irate Father Time as he stood on the steps outside the courthouse in downtown Bangor.  “I will retire under my own terms, and I … Continue reading

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Father Time Admits To Being A Total @#$%^& In 2013

Father Time stopped by The House on the Hill to come clean about his behavior in 2013 before he clocked out at midnight and turned the business over to Baby New Year. “I was a total @#$%^& this year,” Father … Continue reading

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Father Time Alleges Age Discrimination; Resolves to Fight Forced Retirement

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
“Baby New Year can cry all he wants, but he’s not getting my job!” declared an irate Father Time as he stood on the steps outside the courthouse in downtown Bangor. …

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