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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Father Time
2017 Promises Not To Suck
In a hastily called news conference just hours before the Times Square ball drop, Father Time promised that 2017 will not suck like 2016 did, Modern Philosophers. “I resolve that the @#$% stops with me, and Baby New Year will … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged Baby New Year, Donald Trump, Father Time, Happy New Year, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Eve, New Year's Resolutions, sarcasm, satire
10 Comments
Father Time Stuns World By Signing One Year Extension
In a stunning development, Father Time announced today that he has signed a one year contract extension, Modern Philosophers. While the terms of this unprecedented deal were not immediately disclosed, it is definitely the biggest move of the free agent … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Baby New Year, contracts, Father Time, free agency, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Eve, sarcasm, satire, Times Square Ball Drop
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Father Time Resolves To Fight Forced Retirement
“Baby New Year can cry all he wants, but he’s not getting my job!” declared an irate Father Time as he stood on the steps outside the courthouse in downtown Bangor. “I will retire under my own terms, and I … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged age discrimination, Baby New Year, Father Time, Happy New Year, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Eve, Sarcasm, satire
30 Comments
Father Time Admits To Being A Total @#$%^& In 2013
Father Time stopped by The House on the Hill to come clean about his behavior in 2013 before he clocked out at midnight and turned the business over to Baby New Year. “I was a total @#$%^& this year,” Father … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Baby New Year, Father Time, Happy New Year, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Eve, Sarcasm, satire
9 Comments
Father Time Alleges Age Discrimination; Resolves to Fight Forced Retirement
Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
“Baby New Year can cry all he wants, but he’s not getting my job!” declared an irate Father Time as he stood on the steps outside the courthouse in downtown Bangor. …
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged age discrimination, Baby New Year, Father Time, Humor, lawsuit, Modern Philosopher, New Year's, Sarcasm, satire
9 Comments
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