Tag Archives: finance

Are Mall Rats Being Devoured By Cyber Cats?

Posted on August 29, 2017 by Austin

I went to the mall today, Modern Philosophers, because it has always been my fantasy to be a cast member in a raunchy 1980s teen comedy. Okay, I lied. I actually went to the mall because I need new running … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Santa Claus Adds $2 Per Person Delivery Fee

Posted on December 24, 2016 by Austin

You’re going to need to leave more than just cookies and milk for Santa Claus if you want to get your Christmas presents delivered tonight, Modern Philosophers. According to a stunning announcement from The North Pole, Santa has added a … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Trump Has Made Me A Coal Mining Millionaire!

Posted on December 23, 2015 by Austin

I have a confession to make, Modern Philosophers. It’s almost Christmas, and I don’t want to keep lying to you, and risk ending up on Santa’s Naughty List. You see, thing is… I don’t hate Donald Trump as much as … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments