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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: finances
Ravioli II: Long May She Reign
As promised, Modern Philosophers, I have returned with Part 2 of the story about Saturday’s wild adventures. Loyal readers know that I’m not the world’s biggest fan of driving, that I haven’t had good luck with cars, and that I … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged car shopping, cars, finances, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, money, RAV4, Sarcasm, satire
9 Comments
Maybe Cupid Cares About Your Budget
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, Modern Philosophers. I belong to a support group called Why Does Cupid Hate Us?, which is for people who have issues about being single. Not everyone in the group is angry or bitter, but around … Continue reading
Posted in Dating, Humor, Love
Tagged Cupid, dating, finances, Humor, Love, Modern Philosopher, money, sarcasm, satire, single life, Valentines' Day
5 Comments
Use More Water, Ya Weirdo!
I’m well aware that I’m supposed to drink a lot of water when I’m running and working out, Modern Philosophers, and I think I do an excellent job of that. However, my town has an issue with it. So much … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged conservation, finances, Humor, Life in Maine, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, single life, the joys of owning a home, water, water bill
8 Comments
How I Would Spend My Trump Hush Money
I’ve given it a great deal of Deep Thought, Modern Philosophers, and I am finally ready to answer the question so many of you have asked me. While $130,000 might be just a drop in the bucket to a supposed … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Politics
Tagged Donald Trump, finances, Humor, hush money, Michael Cohen, Modern Philosopher, Politics, sarcasm, satire, Stormy Daniels, wish list
7 Comments
Sleep, You Glorious Bastard!
I didn’t roll out of bed until 8:45 this morning, Modern Philosophers. And it was simply glorious. With all the overtime I’ve put in lately, this is the latest I’ve slept in ages. To give you a little perspective, on … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged finances, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, money, overtime, sarcasm, satire, sleep, work
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I Want My $300!
I hear the same questions from my coworkers every morning, Modern Philosophers, as they pass my desk on their way to clock in for the day… Did you sleep here last night? When’s the last time you’ve been home? Are … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Better Off Dead, finances, Humor, John Cusack, Modern Philosopher, money, MTV, NYU, sarcasm, satire, work
14 Comments
IRS: Cut The $@#&, We Know You Cheated On Your Taxes!
You’re busted, Modern Philosophers. That incessant pounding on your front door is probably agents of the IRS coming to have a little chat about this year’s tax return. You did remember to file your taxes, right? It is April 15. … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics
Tagged cheating, economics, finances, government, Humor, income taxes, IRS, Modern Philosopher, money, Sarcasm, satire
33 Comments
Financial Wizard Helps Leprechauns Diversify Their Portfolios
A nondescript sign stating “CPA” hangs outside the window of the meager office above a bookstore in downtown Bangor, Modern Philosophers. The bookstore is owned by Ana, my dear Vampire friend. The building is diagonally across the street from Three … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged finances, Humor, investing, leprechauns, Modern Philosopher, money, pot o' gold, Sarcasm, satire, St Patricks' Day, wizard
15 Comments
The Return of the Modern Philosopher 