Tag Archives: fire

Hillary Sets Heckling Scarecrow Ablaze With Her Mind

The 2016 Presidential Election literally heated up today during a Hillary Clinton campaign stop in Bangor, Modern Philosophers. The Democratic nominee for President was in town to judge the Giant Pumpkin Contest as part of Maine’s month long Halloween Festival. … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Knights of the Round Table Storm IKEA After Failing to Assemble New Table

Trouble in Portland, Maine today when the Knights of the Round Table stormed an IKEA, did extensive damage to the Tables Department, and then set the store ablaze. According to witness reports, about a dozen Knights in full armor and … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Naughty Dragon

Naughty Dragon, Did you ignore My reminder To take Your allergy Medication this morning? You took it? Really? That’s your story, Naughty Dragon? I only ask Because I care, And I know That the Pollen count Is extremely high In … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Dragons Sought For Questioning In Bangor Bank Heist

Bangor Police and Fire Departments are investigating a bank robbery at the Chase Bank on Colorado St that resulted in the building being burned to the ground. Bank officials have not yet disclosed how much money was taken in the … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

BREAKING NEWS: Dragon With Allergy Issues Starts Forest Fire in Western Woods

The Modern Philosopher News Desk has learned that a forest fire in Maine’s infamous Western Woods was started by a Dragon suffering from allergies. Fires Departments from all over Maine have responded to fight the blaze, which authorities report is … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Is That MacGyver In A Toga?

Once upon a time, there was a Modern Philosopher who ate so much at a barbecue that he wanted to turn his toga into a hammock and nap away the rest of his day… As I mentioned in this morning’s … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Bangor Witches Burned A Steak; Misread Tweet Angers & Horrifies Many

I thought it was going to be a slow news day, Modern Philosophers, so when I heard fire engines nearby, I decided to investigate.  I had nothing to write about for the blog, and I figured a piece about the … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments