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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2022. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: fire
Hillary Sets Heckling Scarecrow Ablaze With Her Mind
The 2016 Presidential Election literally heated up today during a Hillary Clinton campaign stop in Bangor, Modern Philosophers. The Democratic nominee for President was in town to judge the Giant Pumpkin Contest as part of Maine’s month long Halloween Festival. … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Politics
Tagged Donald Trump, fire, Halloween, Hillary Clinton, Humor, Modern Philosopher, pumpkins, sarcasm, satire, Scarecrow, Witches
2 Comments
Knights of the Round Table Storm IKEA After Failing to Assemble New Table
Trouble in Portland, Maine today when the Knights of the Round Table stormed an IKEA, did extensive damage to the Tables Department, and then set the store ablaze. According to witness reports, about a dozen Knights in full armor and … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Camelot, fire, Humor, IKEA, knights, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, some assembly required
12 Comments
Naughty Dragon
Naughty Dragon, Did you ignore My reminder To take Your allergy Medication this morning? You took it? Really? That’s your story, Naughty Dragon? I only ask Because I care, And I know That the Pollen count Is extremely high In … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry
Tagged allergies, Dragons, fire, Humor, Modern Philosopher, poem, Sarcasm, satire, sneezing
15 Comments
Dragons Sought For Questioning In Bangor Bank Heist
Bangor Police and Fire Departments are investigating a bank robbery at the Chase Bank on Colorado St that resulted in the building being burned to the ground. Bank officials have not yet disclosed how much money was taken in the … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged bank robbery, crime, Dragons, fire, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Point Break, Sarcasm, satire
8 Comments
BREAKING NEWS: Dragon With Allergy Issues Starts Forest Fire in Western Woods
The Modern Philosopher News Desk has learned that a forest fire in Maine’s infamous Western Woods was started by a Dragon suffering from allergies. Fires Departments from all over Maine have responded to fight the blaze, which authorities report is … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged allergies, Breaking News, Dragons, fire, forest fire, Humor, Maine, Modern Philosopher, satire
4 Comments
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