Tag Archives: Flu

Why Won’t Sweat Kill Germs?

Posted on October 7, 2017 by Austin

I’ve never been an ace at Science, Modern Philosophers.  That’s why you’ll see me in a toga, but never in a lab coat. Because of this shortcoming, I am forced to keep a team of scientists on retainer to help … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Devil In A Hazmat Suit

Posted on October 2, 2016 by Austin

The Devil served me lunch on a shiny silver tray that he must have brought from Hell because I had never before seen the object at The House on the Hill. “Lunch is served,” he announced in a muffled, but … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

I Slept Past 10AM: Now I’m Doomed!

Posted on October 2, 2016 by Austin

The plan for this morning, Modern Philosophers, was to get up early and go for a run. And I was serious about the running thing. I had my running clothes ready to go. I’d even bought a scale yesterday. You … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

My Girlfriend Is Always Right

Posted on December 15, 2015 by Austin

I’ve come up with a new relationship status for Facebook, Modern Philosophers: My girlfriend is always right. The next time I see Mark Zuckerberg, I will definitely run this one past him. It’s a relationship status that I would add … Continue reading →

Posted in Dating, Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Your Insurance Will Cover A Witch Doctor, But Not Witchcraft

Posted on December 27, 2014 by Austin

I’m a big baby when I’m sick, Modern Philosophers. I think that The Girl Who Went Off To Be A Doctor probably knew that she was meant to be in the medical field after having to take care of this … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

I Am Sick Without You…

Posted on April 22, 2014 by Austin

I am sick Without you Here To take care Of me. I languish All alone On the couch, Choking down Soup While I Watch TV. I miss The way You’d play With my hair, Rub my tummy, And lecture me … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Too Sick To Write…Who’s Got A Cure?

Posted on February 26, 2014 by Austin

I’m too sick to write a post tonight, Modern Philosophers.  That guy in the photo on the left looks a thousand times better than how I feel. It started as just a tickle in my throat this morning, but all … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 40 Comments

I Advise You To Not Get The Flu

Posted on November 10, 2013 by Austin

Dear Modern Philosopher, I heard you were sick.  Feeling any better? Concerned in Connecticut   Dear Concerned, Thank you for your letter.  The rumors are true.  I am sick as a dog, which really has my cat upset, and has … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Young Mainers Haunted By The Booger Man, The Monster In Their Nose

Posted on July 10, 2013 by Austin

The CDC has issued a warning to all Mainers about an evil strain of the flu that is spreading across the state at a rapid pace.  This malady, which seems to affect only those under the age of 13, exhibits … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments