Tag Archives: Flying monkeys

Do Monkeys Fear Monkey Bread?

Posted on April 19, 2017 by Austin

Tonight’s edition of After Dinner Mints, Modern Philosophers, is brought to you by a question that has been nagging at me over the past few weeks… Do monkeys fear monkey bread? One of my coworkers makes an awesome loaf (Is … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

The Attack Of The Flying Monkey Boy

Posted on August 20, 2015 by Austin

I need to establish, right from the very beginning, Modern Philosophers, that I rarely frequent Monkey Bars. They smell horrible (even more so in the Summer), the Flying Monkeys who frequent them are quite rowdy once they’ve had a few … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Humor, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Maine’s Flying Monkeys Grounded Due To High Winds

Posted on March 22, 2015 by Austin

Maine Governor Paul LePage has issued an order grounding all of Maine’s Flying Monkeys due to strong winds, Modern Philosophers. Maine’s Air National Guard has been mobilized to clear the skies, and all Flying Monkeys are being issued free drink … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Hanukkah Harry Hints At Getting His Own Sleigh

Posted on December 16, 2014 by Austin

Here’s a classic from the early days of the blog. Happy Hanukkah, Modern Philosophers!

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Flying Monkeys To Escort Santa’s Sleigh Due to Growing Security Concerns

Posted on December 13, 2014 by Austin

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
General Phineas “Woody” Appleton, Commander in Chief of the North Pole Security Agency, announced today that because of growing security concerns, Santa’s sleigh will be escorted around the world by a…

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Halloween Flights Of Fancy

Posted on October 27, 2014 by Austin

It turned out to be one of “those Mondays”, Modern Philosophers, so when I got home to The House on the Hill after a horrible day at work, I knew needed a quick pick me up to raise my spirits. … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Run Like You Know The Rain Is Coming, My Pretty

Posted on August 17, 2014 by Austin

Sometimes, I don’t need much motivation to throw on the Running Toga, lace up my sneakers, and head out for my morning run, Modern Philosophers. This was one such morning.  I saw the rain clouds slowly moving in, and could … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

Flying Monkeys To Offer Cheap Daily Airfares In Maine

Posted on September 16, 2013 by Austin

Traveling around Maine just got cheaper and less stressful, Modern Philosophers! The Flying Monkeys have been released, and they are offering seriously discounted fares to transport you anywhere across the state.  The main focus of the flights will be between … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Jump Start Your Brain: The Wicked Witch of the West

Posted on September 14, 2013 by Austin

Good morning, Modern Philosophers!  I am awake too early this morning because I had to do something sweet for the person most important to me in this world, and now I can’t get back to sleep. So, I thought I’d … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

Maine Closes All Monkey Bars After Another Drunken Flying Monkey Brawl

Posted on August 16, 2013 by Austin

Six Flying Monkeys, two gorillas, an ape and a chimpanzee go into a bar… I know that sounds like the start of an awesome joke, Modern Philosophers, but it’s actually the beginning of a report filed by the Portland Police … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments