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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: food
Putting The (Liver)Wurst Behind Me
It is a well known part of my backstory, Modern Philosopher, that I suffer from abandonment issues. I have been told that this problem finds its root in my mother’s dying when I was three. I have no memory of … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged abandonment issues, Blizzard, family, food, Humor, Love, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire
11 Comments
The Year of the Snow Monkey
On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: An introverted writer with anxiety issues. Okay, those might not be the actual words of my least favorite Christmas song, but since I was born on the twelfth … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged birthday, food, friends, Happy Birthday, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire
8 Comments
After Dinner Mints: Conflicting Cravings
It’s been a long time since I wrote an After Dinner Mints post, Modern Philosophers, so I thought tonight was the perfect time to revive that feature. Basically, I really wanted to write something, but I didn’t feel like I … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged cravings, food, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, Philosophy, Sarcasm, satire
8 Comments
Restocking My Panic Pantry
Doesn’t the title of this blog post sound like an excellent metaphor for the life of a guy with a plethora of fears and phobias, Modern Philosophers? Can you imagine me figuratively restocking my metaphoric panic pantry ever time something … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged always be prepared, coronavirus, food, Humor, Modern Philosopher, pandemic, panic room, Sarcasm, satire
13 Comments
Where Are The Christmas Cookies?
I don’t miss being married, Modern Philosophers, but every year at Christmas, I’m reminded of something important I miss from my marriage… My mother-in-law’s Christmas cookies. Just thinking about them as I write this, more than fifteen years after my … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas, Humor
Tagged Christmas, cookies, divorce, family, food, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, Sarcasm, satire
16 Comments
Why Did I Shelter In Place Without Ice Cream?
I have so much time now to ponder some of the great philosophical questions, Modern Philosophers. Today seemed like the perfect opportunity to tackle one that’s really been on my mind lately. Why in the world did I decide to … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged coronavirus, Covid 19, food, Humor, Ice Cream, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, shelter in place, social distancing, stay at home
14 Comments
Craving New York Pizza
I have a serious craving for New York pizza right now, Modern Philosophers. The first one to send a large mushroom and pepperoni pie to The House on the Hill will be written into my will. Maybe it’s all this … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged comfort food, cravings, food, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New York, New York style pizza, Pizza, Sarcasm, satire, stay at home
5 Comments
Chicken a la Vacation
I’m on vacation, Modern Philosophers. As always, people are asking me what I’m doing for my vacation. Just like I always do, I tell them: “Not going to work”. I have a tendency to select the Creative Introvert’s Vacation Package: … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged chicken Alfredo, Cooking, food, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, running, sarcasm, satire, summer vacation, Yankees
6 Comments
Two Many Cakes?
I walked into work today expecting the worst, Modern Philosophers. I know it’s Friday, which is usually a favorable day of the week, but it was also my last day of work before vacation. You know how such days often … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged Chocolate Cake, desserts, food, going away party, Humor, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, summer vacation, work
8 Comments