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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2019. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: food
What Is The Perfect Birthday Cake?
Tomorrow is my birthday, Modern Philosophers, so I thought I’d pose a very important philosophical question: What is the perfect birthday cake? Unfortunately, no one has asked me this question recently, which leads me to believe I’ll be on my … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged birthday cake, Carvel ice cream cake, chocolate peanut butter cake, desserts, food, Happy Birthday, Humor, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire
45 Comments
Feeding The Christmas Spirit
The interns won’t stop pestering me about finding my Christmas Spirit, Modern Philosophers. I’d like to fire them all to get them out of my hair, but free help is so hard to find. The one with all the freckles … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas, Humor
Tagged Christmas, Christmas spirit, food, holiday blues, holiday cheer, Humor, Merry Christmas!, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire
6 Comments
What’s The Deal With Candy Canes?
Seriously, though, Modern Philosophers, what’s the deal with candy canes? A friend and I were talking about acceptable stocking stuffers, and she suggested those oddly shaped red and white sticks that magically appear this time of year. Not in my … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas, Humor
Tagged candy, candy canes, Christmas, Christmas Stockings, food, Humor, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, stocking stuffers, Wooden Soldiers
24 Comments
Rescuers Call Off Search For Missing Thanksgiving Leftovers
Sunday, Day 4 I can’t believe this is happening! I’ve searched everywhere, but they’re gone. Completely vanished. As if they weren’t even here in the first place! I’ve torn apart the refrigerator. I didn’t even know the thing had a … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged food, Holidays, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving leftovers
12 Comments
And Then I Ate My Weight In Turkey…
Happy Thanksgiving, Modern Philosophers! This has always been a complicated holiday for me. It is linked to so many memories, both good and bad, usually associated with past relationships. As a result, I tend to be moody on Turkey Day. … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged coping, family, food, Happy Thanksgiving, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, Thanksgiving, writing
4 Comments
Chilly Days Are Chili Days
I’m a complicated guy, Modern Philosophers, but I have a very simply cooking philosophy: When it’s chilly, make chili. I’ve had a big pot of chili simmering on the stove all day. The House on the Hill has never smelled … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged chili, Cooking, fall weather, food, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Notre Dame, Sarcasm, satire, Yankees
7 Comments
Bury My Head In Ice Cream
Being of unsound mind And extremely Stressed body, I hereby declare That I wish To be buried In ice cream. That might not be A typical Last request, But at the moment, It’s exactly What I need. Truth be told, … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged comfort foods, coping with stress, food, Humor, Ice Cream, mental health, Modern Philosopher, poem, sarcasm, satire, stress
13 Comments
