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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: food
Holy $@#%, I Ate Ice Cream!
You’d better sit down for this one, Modern Philosophers. Come to think of it, you might want to strap yourself in. If you don’t have straps, get your interns to hold you down. And if you don’t have interns, well, … Continue reading
Promising Pizza Progress
One thing I know for sure, Modern Philosophers, is that you’ll never catch me wearing a toga with “World’s Greatest Chef” emblazoned across the front. It’s not that I’m a bad cook. In fact, my generous waistline seems to indicate … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged bachelor cooking tips, Cooking, food, frozen pizza, homecooked meals, Humor, making dinner, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, single guy in the kitchen
29 Comments
Gravy Me!
I am a turkey. A noble bird. It is Thanksgiving, And I know my time has come. Before you eat me, Please grant my final wish. I want you to bathe me In your finest gravy. Gravy me! Pour it … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Poetry
Tagged food, gravy, Humor, Modern Philosopher, nonsense, poem, Politics, sarcasm, satire, Thanksgiving, Turkey
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Historians Blame The Pilgrims For America’s Obesity Problem
It took almost four hundred years, Modern Philosophers, but historians have finally placed the blame for America’s obesity problem exactly where it belongs… …with the Pilgrims! “Before the Pilgrims invaded our country, forced their way across our borders, and brought … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged food, health, Humor, Modern Philosopher, obesity, Pilgrims, Politics, sarcasm, satire, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving dinner
4 Comments
Super Easy Recipe: Chicken Pesto
It’s been far too long since I’ve written a Cooking With The Modern Philosopher post, and I thought Memorial Day would be the perfect time to put on my apron again. As you know, Modern Philosophers, I’ve been making major … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor
Tagged chicken pesto, Cooking, diet, food, health, healthy eating, Humor, Modern Philosopher, recipes, Sarcasm, satire
7 Comments
Chocolate Trumps All The Rage This Easter
Chocolate Trumps are going to be HUUUUUGE this Easter, Modern Philosophers! According to data supplied by both the Republican Party and the Easter Bunny, sales of Chocolate Trumps have skyrocketed to the point that they could easily clear any border … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Politics
Tagged Donald Trump, Easter, Easter Baskets, Easter Candy, food, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Never Trump, Politics, sarcasm, satire
10 Comments
Screw The Snow, Let’s Make Chili!
Feed a cold. Starve a fever. Everyone knows the suggested medical treatment of the above mentioned conditions, Modern Philosophers. I’m going to be a trailblazer and add a new one to the list. Tell a blizzard to chili the hell … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged childhood memories, chili, Cooking, food, Humor, Maine, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, snow, spam
11 Comments
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