Tag Archives: Fourth of July

Uncle Sam Wants You To Wear A Mask

Happy Independence Day, Modern Philosophers! I know it’s not the same since you’re stuck at home, the fireworks have been canceled, and a pandemic is sweeping through the nation and killing your fellow Americans, but try to remember what it … Continue reading

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Can America Have A New President For Its Birthday?

Happy Birthday, America! You don’t look a day over 200.  Congrats on surviving another year.  This last one seemed more challenging than others, but here we are, celebrating your big day. Woo hoo! It wouldn’t be a proper birthday without … Continue reading

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Not All Fireworks Are Explosive

“I hear you had one Hell of an Independence Day!” The Devil declared as he strode confidently into my living room like he owned the place. As always, he was well dressed in an impeccably tailored suit, which made me … Continue reading

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The Apple Pie Conundrum

I was sitting on the front porch, reading a good book, and enjoying the silence before the drunks with explosives ruined the holiday and drove me down into the safety of my soundproof basement bunker. “Happy Independence Day, Austin!” The … Continue reading

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A Bunker Mentality

“Please tell me why we are in your dark, dank basement,” The Devil insisted as he made a show of pulling out a silk handkerchief and dusting off the chair I’d put out for him. As always, he was well … Continue reading

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Americans Eager To Celebrate Their Independence…From Trump

As Independence Day quickly approaches, Modern Philosophers, a new poll reveals that Americans are more eager than ever to celebrate their freedom. But we’re not talking about independence from Merry Ole England… According to a phone poll conducted by the … Continue reading

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My Own Big Bang Theory

As much as I would love the opportunity to hang out with Penny, Leonard, Sheldon and the rest of gang, Modern Philosophers, I’ve realized after last night that I have a Big Bang Theory of my own. On Sunday, I … Continue reading

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Monday Morning Coffee Club: Happy 4th of July!

Happy Independence Day, Modern Philosophers! I know not all of you are American, but according to yesterday’s post, a large portion of you just became American citizens today.  Congrats and welcome to the greatest country on the planet! I’m no … Continue reading

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Fireworks Can Be Hell!

Happy Fourth of July, Modern Philosophers. I know that you are expecting another highly entertaining installment of this blog’s extremely popular Sundays With Satan Short Story Series, but you are getting this Public Service Announcement about Fireworks Safety instead.  So … Continue reading

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England To Become Our 51st State On July 4

President Obama has chosen Independence Day Eve, Modern Philosophers, to make the shocking announcement that England will become out fifty-first state on July 4. “Sure, our will flags look a little awkward now with a fifty-first star,” The President told … Continue reading

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