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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2022. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Freddy Krueger
Is The House On The Hill On Elm Street?
I’m beginning to think The House on the Hill has relocated to Elm Street, Modern Philosophers. I’ve always had nightmares, but over the last few nights, they’ve really been disturbing. The kind that makes you jumpy all day. It’s gotten … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged A Nightmare on Elm Street, divorce, Dreams, Freddy Krueger, Humor, Modern Philosopher, nightmares, Relationships, sarcasm, satire
5 Comments
Richard Belzer: Dream Warrior
Richard Belzer is vying to become my personal Freddy Krueger, Modern Philosophers! You know him. His best known role is that of Detective John Munch, a character he played on both Homicide: Life on the Street and Law & Order: … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged Dreams, Freddy Krueger, Humor, law and order, life, Modern Philosopher, nightmares, Richard Belzer, sarcasm, satire, waiting tables
3 Comments
The Ugly Sweater That Wasn’t Ugly
Once upon a time, in a seldom used closet at The House on the Hill, hung an ugly Christmas sweater. Purchased at The Gap by The Girl Who Moved Away, the most unique thing about this ugly sweater was that … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas, Humor, Love
Tagged Christmas, Christmas in Maine, Fairy Tales, fashion, Freddy Krueger, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, ugly sweater party
14 Comments
A Nightmare on Pennsylvania Avenue
I haven’t slept much lately, Modern Philosophers, because I’ve been having the most terrifying nightmares. I wake up in a cold sweat, my heart is racing, and I’m far too frightened to go back to sleep lest I slip back … Continue reading
Welcome To The Hotel Krueger
Welcome to the Hotel Krueger, Modern Philosophers. You can check in once you’ve fallen sleep. Check out time? In your dreams, of course. Don’t forget to tip the bellman. It’s not our blogger buddy The Hook, but rather, the scary … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy
Tagged birthdays, Freddy Krueger, hotel, Humor, life, long distance relationship, Modern Philosopher, nightmares, Sarcasm, satire, Sick
19 Comments
Christmas Spirit or Freddy Krueger???
Merry Christmas Eve, Modern Philosophers! The Christmas Eve Breakfast went very well. The breakfast pizzas were a hit, and I’m sure my coworkers are still talking about the breakfast sausages I provided. The real secret to those is microwaving them … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged A Nightmare on Elm Street, Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas sweater, Freddy Krueger, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, work
12 Comments
If You Dream About Moving To Canada, Is It Really Actually A Nightmare?
I know that some of you are Canadian, Modern Philosophers, so I thought it was finally time to cater to that demographic of my readership. Last night, I had a very vivid dream that I had moved to Canada. I … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Canada, Dreams, Freddy Krueger, hockey, Humor, Modern Philosopher, moving, nightmares, Sarcasm, satire
70 Comments
Freddy Krueger Admitted To Sleep Lab To Treat Extreme Insomnia
Freddy Krueger, a local custodian and occasional sweater model, was admitted to St. Joseph’s Sleep Lab in Bangor for treatment of extreme insomnia. According to Dr. Rypp Vanwinckel, the head of the hospital’s Sleep Studies Department, Mr. Krueger’s insomnia was … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged A Nightmare on Elm Street, Freddy Krueger, Halloween, Horror Movies, Humor, insomnia, Modern Philosopher, nightmares, Sarcasm, satire
6 Comments
Three Chairs On A Porch: Two Sweater Men & A Guy In A Toga
Welcome back, Modern Philosophers, to the highest rated talk show ever to be set on a front porch in Maine! As you know, I am always joined on the front porch of The House on the Hill by two guests … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged A Nightmare on Elm Street, Freddy Krueger, Halloween, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Mr. Rogers, satire, sweaters, talk show
24 Comments