Tag Archives: Freddy Krueger

Is The House On The Hill On Elm Street?

Posted on September 18, 2018 by Austin

I’m beginning to think The House on the Hill has relocated to Elm Street, Modern Philosophers. I’ve always had nightmares, but over the last few nights, they’ve really been disturbing.  The kind that makes you jumpy all day. It’s gotten … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Richard Belzer: Dream Warrior

Posted on June 1, 2017 by Austin

Richard Belzer is vying to become my personal Freddy Krueger, Modern Philosophers! You know him.  His best known role is that of Detective John Munch, a character he played on both Homicide: Life on the Street and Law & Order: … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Ugly Sweater That Wasn’t Ugly

Posted on December 21, 2016 by Austin

Once upon a time, in a seldom used closet at The House on the Hill, hung an ugly Christmas sweater. Purchased at The Gap by The Girl Who Moved Away, the most unique thing about this ugly sweater was that … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Humor, Love | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

A Nightmare on Pennsylvania Avenue

Posted on June 9, 2016 by Austin

I haven’t slept much lately, Modern Philosophers, because I’ve been having the most terrifying nightmares. I wake up in a cold sweat, my heart is racing, and I’m far too frightened to go back to sleep lest I slip back … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Welcome To The Hotel Krueger

Posted on September 22, 2015 by Austin

Welcome to the Hotel Krueger, Modern Philosophers. You can check in once you’ve fallen sleep.  Check out time?  In your dreams, of course. Don’t forget to tip the bellman.  It’s not our blogger buddy The Hook, but rather, the scary … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Christmas Spirit or Freddy Krueger???

Posted on December 24, 2014 by Austin

Merry Christmas Eve, Modern Philosophers! The Christmas Eve Breakfast went very well.  The breakfast pizzas were a hit, and I’m sure my coworkers are still talking about the breakfast sausages I provided.  The real secret to those is microwaving them … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

If You Dream About Moving To Canada, Is It Really Actually A Nightmare?

Posted on November 12, 2014 by Austin

I know that some of you are Canadian, Modern Philosophers, so I thought it was finally time to cater to that demographic of my readership. Last night, I had a very vivid dream that I had moved to Canada.  I … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 70 Comments

Freddy Krueger Admitted To Sleep Lab To Treat Extreme Insomnia

Posted on October 21, 2014 by Austin

Freddy Krueger, a local custodian and occasional sweater model, was admitted to St. Joseph’s Sleep Lab in Bangor for treatment of extreme insomnia. According to Dr. Rypp Vanwinckel, the head of the hospital’s Sleep Studies Department, Mr. Krueger’s insomnia was … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Three Chairs On A Porch: Two Sweater Men & A Guy In A Toga

Posted on October 29, 2013 by Austin

Welcome back, Modern Philosophers, to the highest rated talk show ever to be set on a front porch in Maine! As you know, I am always joined on the front porch of The House on the Hill by two guests … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments