Tag Archives: freezing

How I Miss The 40s

You don’t realize How much You miss something Until it’s gone. Lately, I find myself Longing for The 40s. It was A simpler time. Life was better, I was happier, The world was… More alive! While thoughts Of the 4os … Continue reading

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Maine Thermometers Ordered To Go To Counseling For Being So Damn Negative

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
In a stunning move and a ridiculous misuse of his power, Maine Governor Paul LePage announced that all thermometers in the state had to attend mandatory counseling sessions to address their…

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All Hallows Society To Charge Snow Miser With Winter War Crimes

As Mainers prepare for a frigid night with wind chills approaching 30 degrees below zero, the word around the fireplace is that The All Hallows Society has decided to charge Snow Miser with Winter War Crimes. While there is no … Continue reading

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Frigidaire Offers to Purchase Maine; Wants to Market State as World’s Largest Ice Box

Here’s one from the archives, but it is perfect for today when it’s -19 degrees outside. Brrrrr!

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WEATHER ALERT: Ice Age Warning Issued For All Of Maine

The National Weather Center has just issued an Ice Age Warning for the entire state of Maine, Modern Philosophers! According to the advisory, this alert is in effect for the entire weekend and possibly the next 300 – 500 years.  … Continue reading

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Jump Start Your Brain: Crazy Cold Conditions

Well, it’s Saturday morning, Modern Philosophers, and I haven’t frozen to death yet, so I guess that means the weekend is off to a good start. I checked the temperature upon waking, and it was -3 degrees.  Who even knows … Continue reading

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