Tag Archives: freezing

How I Miss The 40s

Posted on February 4, 2015 by Austin

You don’t realize How much You miss something Until it’s gone. Lately, I find myself Longing for The 40s. It was A simpler time. Life was better, I was happier, The world was… More alive! While thoughts Of the 4os … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Maine Thermometers Ordered To Go To Counseling For Being So Damn Negative

Posted on January 8, 2015 by Austin

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
In a stunning move and a ridiculous misuse of his power, Maine Governor Paul LePage announced that all thermometers in the state had to attend mandatory counseling sessions to address their…

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

All Hallows Society To Charge Snow Miser With Winter War Crimes

Posted on January 7, 2015 by Austin

As Mainers prepare for a frigid night with wind chills approaching 30 degrees below zero, the word around the fireplace is that The All Hallows Society has decided to charge Snow Miser with Winter War Crimes. While there is no … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Frigidaire Offers to Purchase Maine; Wants to Market State as World’s Largest Ice Box

Posted on January 4, 2014 by Austin

Here’s one from the archives, but it is perfect for today when it’s -19 degrees outside. Brrrrr!

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

WEATHER ALERT: Ice Age Warning Issued For All Of Maine

Posted on December 14, 2013 by Austin

The National Weather Center has just issued an Ice Age Warning for the entire state of Maine, Modern Philosophers! According to the advisory, this alert is in effect for the entire weekend and possibly the next 300 – 500 years.  … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments