Tag Archives: Friday the 13th

Machetes & Werewolves

Posted on January 13, 2017 by Austin

It’s Friday the 13th and there’s a full moon, Modern Philosophers.  That means Maine’s Werewolves are running wild on the very day that Jason Voorhees is loose on yet another killing spree. While there hasn’t been a new Friday the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Jason Voorhees Endorses Donald Trump

Posted on May 13, 2016 by Austin

On a beautiful Friday the 13th, at a press conference held at scenic Camp Crystal Lake, seemingly immortal serial killer, movie star, and goalie mask enthusiast Jason Voorhees endorsed Donald Trump for President. “I believe that Mr. Trump can make … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

When Cupid Met Jason…

Posted on February 13, 2015 by Austin

They sat across from each other at a table in the middle of the crowded truck stop diner.  Although worn out from their journey, they were both starving. “I had no idea the drive from Chicago to New York would … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Our Love At Camp Crystal Lake

Posted on June 13, 2014 by Austin

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
I will never forget The day we met Camp Crystal Lake, The Summer of Love. I didn’t know it At the time, But my life Would change Forever. Young love, First…

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Friday the 13th Prequel, Thursday the 12th, To Focus On Wacky Camp Hijinks

Posted on June 12, 2014 by Austin

Just as the Summer Movie Season is about the kick into high gear, upstart studio Reboot Pictures has announced that it has given the green light to its first project. The company has purchased the prequel rights to the popular … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Skyrocketing Machete And Old School Goalie Mask Sales Boost June Economy

Posted on June 12, 2014 by Austin

At Voorhees Sporting Goods in Portland, they can’t keep machetes or old school goaltender’s masks on the shelves. “It’s unbelievable,” Dale Voorhees, the store’s long time owner, told this Modern Philosopher.  “I know the Stanley Cup Finals are still going … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Friday the 13th: Jason Takes The North Pole

Posted on December 13, 2013 by Austin

Happy Friday the 13th, Modern Philosophers! The Calendar Commission, having received multiple complaints about such a creepy day falling so close to the merriest day on the calendar, issued the following statement: “While the Calendar Commission is all powerful and … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Three Chairs On A Porch: Two Survivors & An Exile

Posted on October 27, 2013 by Austin

Welcome back to the front porch of The House on the Hill for another special Halloween Week Edition of “Three Chairs on a Porch”. As always, I am joined by two guests with a vague connection, who get to ask … Continue reading →

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Win A Camping Weekend With Jason Voorhees!

Posted on September 13, 2013 by Austin

Happy Friday the 13th, Modern Philosophers! As you know, I write movies in my spare time, with thrillers and horrors stories being my specialty.   I grew up loving the horror classics: Halloween, The Fog, A Nightmare On Elm Street, … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 45 Comments

Our Love At Camp Crystal Lake

Posted on September 13, 2013 by Austin

I will never forget The day we met Camp Crystal Lake, The Summer of Love. I didn’t know it At the time, But my life Would change Forever. Young love, First love, Obsessive love. I could not Take my eyes … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments