Tag Archives: God

Blood Moons, Eclipses, Floods…Is God Trying To Break Up With Us?

What if God was one of us?/ Just a slob like one of us?/ Just a stranger on the bus/ Trying to break up with us??? Joan Osborne might have written those first three lines, Modern Philosophers, but I had … Continue reading

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Who Picks Up The Check When Zeus And Pope Francis Go To Lunch?

Despite the ugly weather, I’d decided to go out for a walk.  I was hoping the fresh air would clear my head of the thoughts that were leading me down a path darkened by black clouds and despair. The walk … Continue reading

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God Electrifies The Pearly Gates To Keep Out Zombies

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
Apparently, Zombies don’t get to go to Heaven, Modern Philosophers. The Vatican announced today that God had electrified the Pearly Gates in order to keep out the herds of Zombies that…

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In New Bio, God Admits To Also Resting On The Fifth Day

In the new biography, I Did It My Way: My Book Of Revelations, God reveals that He did not wait until the seventh day to rest. “I guess it’s time to finally come clean, and admit that I actually knocked … Continue reading

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God Upset That He Doesn’t Get Enough Thanks For Friday

In a recent interview with BBC Radio, God stated that He was upset because He doesn’t receive enough thanks for Friday. Ian Broadtooth, the host of  BBC Radio’s “Let’s Have Fish and Chips With God”, told this Modern Philosopher that … Continue reading

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Apocalypse Wow: God Considers Wiping Out Mankind

Some big news from the set of Life As We Know It, Modern Philosophers… Much like the producer of a long running television show with a beloved, but aging cast dealing with fading ratings, God finds Himself wondering if it’s … Continue reading

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God Admits That Harsh Winter Is Meant To Wipe Out Human Race

My birthday did not get any better, Modern Philosophers.  After my leaking ceiling and bathroom flood, I also took a hard fall on the ice while walking to my car.  Ouch! When I returned to The House on the Hill … Continue reading

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The Archangel Cometh, And She Has Cake

I was lost in my thoughts of The Birthday Girl when a knock on the door snapped me back to reality.  I wasn’t exactly ready for reality, Modern Philosophers, because my imagination is a wonderful place in which to get … Continue reading

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Patriots Face Wrath Of God After Cutting Tim Tebow

God has made it known via a spokesperson that the New England Patriots shall now face His wrath after the team cut Tim Tebow, the popular quarterback, from its roster. “God is not pleased at the news regarding Tim Tebow’s … Continue reading

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Bible To Change Name Of First Book In Wake Of Biogenesis Scandal

In the wake of Major League Baseball’s ongoing Biogenesis scandal, the publishers of The Bible have decided to change the name of The Book of Genesis. “We just didn’t want our most famous publication to be associated with drug use, … Continue reading

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