Tag Archives: government

A Taxing Day Off

I made my annual journey across the bridge to the Bangor Public Library today, Modern Philosophers. I was not seeking out Stephen King’s latest novel, however. I was there to file my income taxes, and see if Uncle Sam was … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Trump Declares National Emergency Over Lack Of White House Snacks

I knew this was going to happen, Modern Philosophers. Once President Trump broke the seal on declaring a National Emergency in order to get his way, I knew it was just a matter of time before he used it again. … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Trump Vetting Santa Claus For Vice President

In a move that some are laughing off as a publicity stunt, and others are applauding as a shrewd piece of political maneuvering, the Trump campaign today announced that it has been vetting Santa Claus as a possible Vice Presidential … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

If I Were Dictator Of The Universe…

A long time ago, When I was Much younger, Completely foolish, And knew Next to nothing About intergalactic politics, I would make Bold proclamations About What I’d do If I were Dictator of the Universe. Of course, Since I was … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

IRS: Cut The $@#&, We Know You Cheated On Your Taxes!

You’re busted, Modern Philosophers. That incessant pounding on your front door is probably agents of the IRS coming to have a little chat about this year’s tax return. You did remember to file your taxes, right?  It is April 15. … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

I Advise You To Demand Time Travel Technology

Dear Modern Philosopher, I have a problem that I’m hoping you can solve. I woke up this morning to find that my husband wasn’t in bed.  This has happened several times now over the past few weeks, and I don’t … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Maine Trolls Protest Excessive Bridge Construction

Maine’s Troll population is not pleased with what they are calling an “excessive amount” of bridge work being done by the Department of Transportation this Winter. Trolls braved the rain today to march outside of Governor LePage’s residence, but the … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Is The Elf On The Shelf An NSA Operative?

We now bring you an important Holiday Safety Message, Modern Philosophers… As Christmas draws nearer, more Americans are opening their homes to that Holiday staple, The Elf on the Shelf. He does look so sweet and innocent, doesn’t he, Modern … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 59 Comments

IRS To Crackdown On Scofflaw Lemonade Stand Operators

As this heatwave continues to leave the United States a sweaty, dehydrated mess, agents of the IRS have somehow found the energy to go after a new kind of tax cheat… Lemonade Stand Operators! That’s right, Modern Philosophers…those big meanies … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 36 Comments

9 Out Of 10 People Believe The 10th To Be A Total Weirdo

A new study released today by the Department Utilizing Statistics & Tables (DUST) revealed that 9 out of 10 people believe the 10th to be a total weirdo, Modern Philosophers. Over two million Americans participated in the survey which was … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments