Tag Archives: government

A Taxing Day Off

I made my annual journey across the bridge to the Bangor Public Library today, Modern Philosophers. I was not seeking out Stephen King’s latest novel, however. I was there to file my income taxes, and see if Uncle Sam was … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Trump Declares National Emergency Over Lack Of White House Snacks

I knew this was going to happen, Modern Philosophers. Once President Trump broke the seal on declaring a National Emergency in order to get his way, I knew it was just a matter of time before he used it again. … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Does America Need A Monarchy?

When I clocked out at 5:00 today, Modern Philosophers, I put an end to a three week stretch during which I worked a whopping 158 hours. I am thrilled that it’s Friday night because I really need the vacation that … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Trump Vetting Santa Claus For Vice President

In a move that some are laughing off as a publicity stunt, and others are applauding as a shrewd piece of political maneuvering, the Trump campaign today announced that it has been vetting Santa Claus as a possible Vice Presidential … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Friday Night Think Tank: Are We Hopelessly Trumped?

It’s Friday night, Modern Philosophers! I know the Friday Night Think Tank has been closed for a long time, but it’s a gorgeous night, Def Leppard is in concert across the river, and I thought it would be a perfect … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

If I Were Dictator Of The Universe…

A long time ago, When I was Much younger, Completely foolish, And knew Next to nothing About intergalactic politics, I would make Bold proclamations About What I’d do If I were Dictator of the Universe. Of course, Since I was … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

IRS: Cut The $@#&, We Know You Cheated On Your Taxes!

You’re busted, Modern Philosophers. That incessant pounding on your front door is probably agents of the IRS coming to have a little chat about this year’s tax return. You did remember to file your taxes, right?  It is April 15. … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

I Advise You To Demand Time Travel Technology

Dear Modern Philosopher, I have a problem that I’m hoping you can solve. I woke up this morning to find that my husband wasn’t in bed.  This has happened several times now over the past few weeks, and I don’t … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Maine Trolls Protest Excessive Bridge Construction

Maine’s Troll population is not pleased with what they are calling an “excessive amount” of bridge work being done by the Department of Transportation this Winter. Trolls braved the rain today to march outside of Governor LePage’s residence, but the … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Is The Elf On The Shelf An NSA Operative?

We now bring you an important Holiday Safety Message, Modern Philosophers… As Christmas draws nearer, more Americans are opening their homes to that Holiday staple, The Elf on the Shelf. He does look so sweet and innocent, doesn’t he, Modern … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 59 Comments