Tag Archives: grass

You Never Forget Your First Mow Job

I have been putting off mowing the lawn for as long as possible, Modern Philosophers, because once you give in to the task, you become the grass’ bitch. That’s the law of the land, baby.  If you want to live … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Hey, Grass…

Hey, grass… Every week, I cut you Down to size, Forcing you To conform To my norm. You reach For the sky, And I Knock You Down. Every week, Regardless Of what I’ve done To you, You return. Defying me. … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

DEA Asks Easter Bunny To Not Buy His Grass From Colorado Or Washington

Spring is here, Modern Philosophers, which means that Easter is just around the corner. As I revealed to you on the blog last year, the Easter Bunny spends a lot of time in Maine because a majority of the items … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

My Grass Is Never Greener Because Of Demon Urine & Zombie Innards

Spring is definitely here, Modern Philosophers.  How do I know?  The front lawn of The House on the Hill is lush and green and needs to be mowed (a major undertaking of the high calorie burning variety)…except for the huge … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Easter Bunny Needs To Bail Out Maine Farmers Arrested For Growing His “Special Grass”

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
The Easter Bunny had to make an unscheduled stop in Maine today to post bail for a half dozen farmers who grow and harvest the special grass he uses in Easter…

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Easter Bunny Needs To Bail Out Maine Farmers Arrested For Growing His “Special Grass”

The Easter Bunny had to make an unscheduled stop in Maine today to post bail for a half dozen farmers who grow and harvest the special grass he uses in Easter Baskets.  Out of respect for the farmers, and because … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments