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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: grass
You Never Forget Your First Mow Job
I have been putting off mowing the lawn for as long as possible, Modern Philosophers, because once you give in to the task, you become the grass’ bitch. That’s the law of the land, baby. If you want to live … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged allergies, chores, grass, Humor, lawn mower, Modern Philosopher, mowing the lawn, photos, Sarcasm, satire, Spring
23 Comments
DEA Asks Easter Bunny To Not Buy His Grass From Colorado Or Washington
Spring is here, Modern Philosophers, which means that Easter is just around the corner. As I revealed to you on the blog last year, the Easter Bunny spends a lot of time in Maine because a majority of the items … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged DEA, Easter, Easter Baskets, Easter Bunny, grass, Humor, legalize, marijuana, Modern Philosopher, pot, Sarcasm, satire
10 Comments
My Grass Is Never Greener Because Of Demon Urine & Zombie Innards
Spring is definitely here, Modern Philosophers. How do I know? The front lawn of The House on the Hill is lush and green and needs to be mowed (a major undertaking of the high calorie burning variety)…except for the huge … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged demons, front lawn, gardening, grass, home owner, Humor, Modern Philosopher, reseeding, satire, Zombies
26 Comments
Easter Bunny Needs To Bail Out Maine Farmers Arrested For Growing His “Special Grass”
Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
The Easter Bunny had to make an unscheduled stop in Maine today to post bail for a half dozen farmers who grow and harvest the special grass he uses in Easter…
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged 4/20, Easter Bunny, grass, marijuana, Modern Philosopher, pot
2 Comments
Easter Bunny Needs To Bail Out Maine Farmers Arrested For Growing His “Special Grass”
The Easter Bunny had to make an unscheduled stop in Maine today to post bail for a half dozen farmers who grow and harvest the special grass he uses in Easter Baskets. Out of respect for the farmers, and because … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Politics
Tagged agriculture, Comedy, Easter, Easter Baskets, Easter Bunny, farmers, grass, Maine, Modern Philosopher, News, satire
21 Comments
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