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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Halloween
Trump Declares Victory Over Halloween
Just mere days after the White House website claimed that the administration had put an end to COVID-19, President Trump has taken credit for another huge accomplishment, Modern Philosophers. Now he’s declared victory over Halloween. At a campaign rally in … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Politics
Tagged coronavirus, Covid 19, Election Day, Halloween, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Politics, President Trump, Sarcasm, satire
8 Comments
The Couple’s Costume Conundrum
Holly tossed her empty coffee cup into the trash can next to her bench, and stared across the running path at her best friend. Something was on her mind, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to discuss it with … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged costumes, flash fiction, Halloween, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, Sarcasm, satire, short story
6 Comments
What’s Your Favorite Halloween Candy?
The calendar clearly states that Halloween is quickly approaching, Modern Philosophers, but I just don’t feel the Halloween Season vibe like I normally do. This blog usually revels in the holiday with a month’s worth of posts about The Pumpkin … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged candy, Halloween, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, trick or treat
9 Comments
All Tricks, No Treats
“It’s less than two weeks until Halloween, and I couldn’t help but notice that you had no decorations out on your porch,” Holly commented from the bench on her side of the running path as she sipped her coffee. “That … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged coronavirus, Covid 19, flash fiction, Halloween, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, short story, social distancing
4 Comments
Jokes Not Worthy Of Late Night
Happy Sunday, Modern Philosophers! A new episode of The Nite Show with Danny Cashman aired last night, which means some of my monologue jokes made it onto your television. The truth is, I write dozens of jokes for every show, … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Writing
Tagged Danny Cashman, Halloween, Humor, Modern Philosopher, monologue jokes, sarcasm, satire, Sunday rejects, The Nite Show, TV, writing
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The Halloween Party
He sat off in the corner, all by himself, on a beat up couch that seemed as forgotten by the homeowners as he wanted to be by the other party guests. He was dressed in a tuxedo and looked quite … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged dating, flash fiction, Halloween, Halloween party, Humor, meet cute, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, short story
15 Comments
Halloween Brings Out The Wacky Neighbors
Halloween Season is in full swing in Maine, Modern Philosophers. As a result, the state has been flooded with tourists looking to celebrate their favorite holiday. Most of them, of course, are Otherworldly Beings, who flock to Maine from all … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged demons, ghouls, Halloween, Humor, Maine, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, werewolves, Witches
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Get Your Shots, It’s Werewolf Season!
We are neck deep in the Halloween Season, Modern Philosophers, which means it’s time for my annual PSA about the importance of getting your shots. Sure, a flu shot is very helpful this time of year, but if you’re in … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged Halloween, health, Humor, Maine, Modern Philosopher, rabies, sarcasm, satire, werewolves
4 Comments
Zombie Fun Run Turns Tragic When Stragglers Are Eaten
I warned them it wasn’t a good idea to change the annual Halloween Zombie Fun Run from a 5K to a 10K, but no one listened to me, Modern Philosophers. First of all, you’re always inviting trouble when you deal … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged Halloween, Happy Halloween, Humor, Modern Philosopher, running, sarcasm, satire, Zombie Run, Zombies
8 Comments
Halloween Is Coming! Fetch My Candy Barrel
Happy Halloween, Modern Philosophers! Usually, this blog is chock full of Halloween themed posts in October, but I just realized I’ve yet to write a single one this year. My bad. The Halloween Season begins in Maine on October 1, … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged All Hallows Society, blogging, Halloween, Halloween candy, Humor, Maine, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, trick-or-treat
8 Comments