Tag Archives: Halloween

Hell Is A Red State

The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack played in the background as we put up the Halloween decorations. Other than Danny Elfman’s delightful holiday music, there was absolute silence. And it was heavenly. I knew it wouldn’t last, however, given the presence … Continue reading

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Hillary Sets Heckling Scarecrow Ablaze With Her Mind

The 2016 Presidential Election literally heated up today during a Hillary Clinton campaign stop in Bangor, Modern Philosophers. The Democratic nominee for President was in town to judge the Giant Pumpkin Contest as part of Maine’s month long Halloween Festival. … Continue reading

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He Who Must Not Be Named President

As part of Maine’s month long Halloween Festival, today was Scary Story Day at All Souls Cemetery in Bangor, Modern Philosophers. Humans and Otherworldly Beings packed Maine’s largest graveyard, widely accepted to be the most haunted cemetery in America, to … Continue reading

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Trump’s White House: America’s Scariest Haunted House

Halloween Season is in full swing in Maine, Modern Philosophers, and with Election Day a mere month away, it was time to vote for America’s Scariest Haunted House. With so many amazing haunted properties to choose from, this annual tradition … Continue reading

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Maine Witches Refuse To Endorse “Black Magic” Hillary

Halloween Season is in full swing in Maine, Modern Philosophers, but even the celebration of every Otherworldly Being’s favorite holiday has to pause to allow some time for the 2016 Presidential Election. This morning, during a secret meeting held at … Continue reading

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Trumpkins Are A Halloween Smash

October is Halloween Season, Modern Philosophers, and Otherworldly Beings from this world and others are flocking to Maine in record numbers to celebrate their favorite holiday. The All Hallows Society, Maine’s top secret, ultra powerful  organization that oversees all activities … Continue reading

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Cauldron Lucks: They’re Not Just For Witches Anymore

Happy Halloween, Modern Philosophers! As you know from reading this blog, Halloween is a huge holiday in Maine.  We spend the entire month of October celebrating it, and Otherworldly Beings visit from all over to take part in the Halloween … Continue reading

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Harrowing Halloween Horror: Monsoon Man

It’s not truly Halloween Season, Modern Philosophers, until you’ve had one good scare.  You can look it up. To truly enjoy the holiday, one must face his fears, tempt the Fates, and/or look Death in the eye without blinking. I … Continue reading

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Scariest Costume Goes To…

The runaway winner In the 2016 Scariest Halloween Costume Contest Is… President Trump! With all Precincts reporting, We can Confidently Declare A winner. In a landslide. Voter turnout Was stronger Than expected. Halloween revelers Voted across Party lines. Sure, That … Continue reading

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Halloween Candy Is Bad For You…Deal With It!

I’m tired of hearing that Halloween candy is bad for me, Modern Philosophers. You know what else is bad for me?  Getting out of bed.  Breathing.  Eating pretty much any food that’s not green and tasteless.  Listening to the incessant … Continue reading

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