Tag Archives: Harry Potter

He Who Must Not Be Named President

Posted on October 14, 2016 by Austin

As part of Maine’s month long Halloween Festival, today was Scary Story Day at All Souls Cemetery in Bangor, Modern Philosophers. Humans and Otherworldly Beings packed Maine’s largest graveyard, widely accepted to be the most haunted cemetery in America, to … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

If Running Is Wrong, Then I Just Want To Write!

Posted on October 6, 2015 by Austin

Getting up early to run, working all day, and then staying up late to write monologue jokes for tomorrow night’s taping of The Nite Show is really starting to take its toll, Modern Philosophers. When you factor in that I’ve … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Humor, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Is Joe Just “Biden” His Time?

Posted on August 6, 2015 by Austin

As the 200 or so Republican Presidential Candidates gather in Cleveland for tonight’s first debate, this Modern Philosopher met with his most trusted political advisers. The question that weighed most heavily on my mind was one that should be on … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Author Turned Into Toad After Publishing “Harry PottErotica”

Posted on July 22, 2015 by Austin

Strange story out of Milford, Maine today, Modern Philosophers… Suzette LeBlanc, a local author who fancied herself to be a Harry Potter expert and super fan, has been transformed into a big, ugly, scary toad. The incident took place shortly … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Is There An Evil Magician In The House (On The Hill)?

Posted on July 12, 2015 by Austin

“I always hoped that if you were to emulate me in any way, it would be with your wardrobe,” The Devil informed me out of the blue.  “Nothing against togas, mind you, but you simply cannot beat an impeccably tailored … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Pope Francis To Turn Vatican Into Giant Haunted House For Halloween

Posted on October 29, 2014 by Austin

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
The Partying Pontiff is at is again, Modern Philosophers! Pope Francis announced that he is throwing a lavish Halloween party on Thursday night, and turning The Vatican into the world’s scariest…

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Brewer High School To Host Two Exchange Students From Hogwarts This Fall

Posted on July 19, 2014 by Austin

Brewer High School, which is located not far from The House on the Hill, announced today that it will be hosting two foreign exchange students from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry for the Fall Semester. The school, whose athletic … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Pope Francis To Turn Vatican Into Giant Haunted House For Halloween

Posted on October 27, 2013 by Austin

The Partying Pontiff is at is again, Modern Philosophers! Pope Francis announced that he is throwing a lavish Halloween party on Thursday night, and turning The Vatican into the world’s scariest haunted house for the event. Ever since being elected … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Harry Potter To Help Bangor PD Battle Bath Salts Users

Posted on August 4, 2013 by Austin

This Modern Philosopher is delighted to announce that Harry Potter has found a new adventure right here in Maine.  “Harry Potter & The Crazed Bath Salts Users” might not be the catchiest title, but don’t even try to tell me … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Maine’s First School Of Magic Now Closer To Being A Reality

Posted on July 14, 2013 by Austin

Maine Governor Paul LePage, who has long said he would do everything in his power to prevent a School of Magic from opening in the state, has made an abrupt about face and is ready to support the idea. LePage’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 20 Comments