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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Harry Potter
He Who Must Not Be Named President
As part of Maine’s month long Halloween Festival, today was Scary Story Day at All Souls Cemetery in Bangor, Modern Philosophers. Humans and Otherworldly Beings packed Maine’s largest graveyard, widely accepted to be the most haunted cemetery in America, to … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Politics
Tagged Donald Trump, Halloween, Harry Potter, horror, Humor, Lord Voldemort, Modern Philosopher, Politics, sarcasm, satire, Wizards
5 Comments
If Running Is Wrong, Then I Just Want To Write!
Getting up early to run, working all day, and then staying up late to write monologue jokes for tomorrow night’s taping of The Nite Show is really starting to take its toll, Modern Philosophers. When you factor in that I’ve … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor, Philosophy, Writing
Tagged Harry Potter, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, monologue jokes, running, Sarcasm, satire, Voldemort, writing, Yankees
8 Comments
Is Joe Just “Biden” His Time?
As the 200 or so Republican Presidential Candidates gather in Cleveland for tonight’s first debate, this Modern Philosopher met with his most trusted political advisers. The question that weighed most heavily on my mind was one that should be on … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics
Tagged 2016 Presidential Election, Donald Trump, Harry Potter, Joe Biden, Mayor McCheese, Modern Philosopher, Politics, Republican Debates, Sarcasm, satire, Zeus
4 Comments
Author Turned Into Toad After Publishing “Harry PottErotica”
Strange story out of Milford, Maine today, Modern Philosophers… Suzette LeBlanc, a local author who fancied herself to be a Harry Potter expert and super fan, has been transformed into a big, ugly, scary toad. The incident took place shortly … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Books, Harry Potter, Hermione, Humor, JK Rowling, Magic, Modern Philosopher, Reading, Sarcasm, satire, Witches
17 Comments
Is There An Evil Magician In The House (On The Hill)?
“I always hoped that if you were to emulate me in any way, it would be with your wardrobe,” The Devil informed me out of the blue. “Nothing against togas, mind you, but you simply cannot beat an impeccably tailored … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing
Tagged facial hair, fiction, Harry Potter, Humor, magicians, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, short story, Star Trek, The Devil
6 Comments
Pope Francis To Turn Vatican Into Giant Haunted House For Halloween
Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
The Partying Pontiff is at is again, Modern Philosophers! Pope Francis announced that he is throwing a lavish Halloween party on Thursday night, and turning The Vatican into the world’s scariest…
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Halloween, Harry Potter, Haunted House, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Pope Francis, Sarcasm, satire, Vatican
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Brewer High School To Host Two Exchange Students From Hogwarts This Fall
Brewer High School, which is located not far from The House on the Hill, announced today that it will be hosting two foreign exchange students from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry for the Fall Semester. The school, whose athletic … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Brewer High School, exchange students, Harry Potter, Hogwarts, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, Witches, Wizards
5 Comments
Pope Francis To Turn Vatican Into Giant Haunted House For Halloween
The Partying Pontiff is at is again, Modern Philosophers! Pope Francis announced that he is throwing a lavish Halloween party on Thursday night, and turning The Vatican into the world’s scariest haunted house for the event. Ever since being elected … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Politics
Tagged Halloween, Harry Potter, Haunted House, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Pope Francis, Religion, Sarcasm, satire, Vatican
15 Comments
Harry Potter To Help Bangor PD Battle Bath Salts Users
This Modern Philosopher is delighted to announce that Harry Potter has found a new adventure right here in Maine. “Harry Potter & The Crazed Bath Salts Users” might not be the catchiest title, but don’t even try to tell me … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Bangor PD, bath salts, Books, crime, Harry Potter, Hogwarts, Humor, Magic, Modern Philosopher, satire, wands
20 Comments
Maine’s First School Of Magic Now Closer To Being A Reality
Maine Governor Paul LePage, who has long said he would do everything in his power to prevent a School of Magic from opening in the state, has made an abrupt about face and is ready to support the idea. LePage’s … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Harry Potter, Hogwarts, Humor, Magic, Modern Philosopher, satire, Witches, Wizards
20 Comments