Tag Archives: Heat Miser

He Shall Wear A Crown Of Ice

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but Heat Miser has been making a real nuisance of himself this weekend, Modern Philosophers. Usually, it’s Snow Miser causing my life to be miserable, but he has apparently tagged in the evil red … Continue reading

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Meet Joe Cool(er)

In all the excitement about my screenplay news on Tuesday (He Said Yes To The Screenplay), I forgot to tell you about the other life altering event that occurred on the very same day, Modern Philosophers. After fifteen years at … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Beat The Heat

It’s going to be a real scorcher in Maine today, Modern Philosophers! The weather wizards have looked into their crystal balls and seen a future where the mercury skyrockets to 91 degrees.  That’s wicked hot, as the locals would say. … Continue reading

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Sweaty Trump To Build A Wall Around The Sun

Why in the name of Zeus is it so hot in Maine on September 9th, Modern Philosophers? I stepped out of my air conditioned office this evening and into 90 degree heat.  Maybe it’s a sign of End of Days. … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

How To Beat The Heat Without Air Conditioning

The last two weeks have been hot, sweaty, humid, and disgusting in Maine, Modern Philosophers. Heat Miser is back and things are not going well at The House on the Hill because the place doesn’t have any air conditioning. So … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Heat Miser Is A @#$%^&

I make absolutely no secret of the fact, Modern Philosophers, that Snow Miser is my mortal enemy. We have been at war with each other for years (a very one-sided battle I might add!) ever since I stole (that seems … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Heat Miser Reasserts His Family’s Dominance Over Poor Mainers

Just when you thought it was safe to go outside, Modern Philosophers… After months of suffering from Snow Miser’s relentless Winter War on Maine, Mainers are now dealing with an assault from his brother Heat Miser.  Temperatures have been sweltering … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 36 Comments

Frosty The Snowman Missing; Last Seen Arguing With Heat Miser

Frosty the Snowman might be a jolly, happy soul, Modern Philosophers, but right now he’s something else…missing! The world’s most famous Snowman was last seen on Saturday night at the North Pole’s Jack Frost Lounge, where  Frosty had been celebrating … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Rescue Teams Evacuate Residents From Melting Homes On Candy Cane Lane

Rescue teams from all over Eastern Maine have descended upon the normally quite Bangor cul-de-sac of Candy Cane Lane to rescue panicked residents from their candy and gingerbread houses that are melting in the scorching Summer heat. As helicopters hovered … Continue reading

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Heat Miser Returns; Turns Maine Into Sweaty Sauna

Heat Miser announced his return to Maine like the true showman that he is. Temperatures skyrocketed past 85 degrees and scores of Mainers, still bundled up in their Winter clothing, collapsed in the streets.  There were several reports of heat … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments