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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: history
Why Didn’t The Pilgrims Discover Thanksgiving On A Monday?
I don’t know much about the Pilgrims, Modern Philosophers, other than that they were extremely sharp dressers, they loved to travel by boat, and they knew how to throw a righteous feast. I remember there being some movie about their … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged aliens, history, holiday, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Monday, Pilgrims, Sarcasm, satire, Thanksgiving, Thursday
8 Comments
I Wouldn’t Make A Very Good Caveman
I was thinking today, as I’m sure you often do, Modern Philosophers, about how good of a caveman I would have been. My first conclusion was that I’d be great at it. The House on the Hill has become something … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged caveman, dinosaurs, gathering, history, Humor, Hunting, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, sleestak, Time Travel
12 Comments
Express Train To Hell
The Devil returned to the living room with a tray of his famous Hellfire Wings straight from the oven. Never had The House on the Hill smelled so good. “I knew these would be the perfect snack for the rubber … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing
Tagged hell, history, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New York, NYC Subway, Sarcasm, satire, short story, Subway Series, The Devil
11 Comments
What Was Life Like Before Snow Was Invented?
I sit here at The House on the Hill, Modern Philosophers, watching another snowstorm dump its load on Maine, and I wonder what life was like before snow was invented. When I was a kid, my Dad would entertain me … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Dr. Snow, history, Humor, inventions, Modern Philosopher, Philosophy, Sarcasm, satire, Science, snow, Time Travel
11 Comments
Germany Wins World Cup; Asks For Poland Instead Of Trophy
Germany beat Argentina tonight with a thrilling goal in extra time to win the 2014 World Cup. The Germans’ goal, scored in the second period of extra time, broke a scoreless tie and led to a final of 1-0. After … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Germany, history, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Poland, Sarcasm, satire, Soccer, World Cup
18 Comments
Where Were You When The Death Star Exploded?
It might have happened a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, but I still remember exactly where I was when the Death Star exploded. Perhaps that explosion will become the “Where were you when JFK was shot?” … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Brooklyn, Death Star, history, Humor, memories, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, Star Wars, writing
36 Comments
Three Chairs On A Porch: A Doctor, An Uncle, A Modern Philosopher
Welcome to a very special Independence Day Weekend Edition of Three Chairs on a Porch, Maine’s top rated talk show set on a front porch! The blog has been overwhelmed with requests to resume the Three Chairs interviews, so I … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Back to the Future, Doc Brown, history, Humor, Independence Day, Modern Philosopher, satire, Time Travel, Uncle Sam
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Fourth Of July: The Day We Celebrate The Legalization Of Fireworks In America
Happy Independence Day, Modern Philosophers! As you know, the Fourth of July is the Holiday when we celebrate the legalization of fireworks in America! Because the British had very strict laws against the use of fireworks, the first colonists left … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged America, fireworks, Fourth of July, history, Humor, Independence Day, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire
13 Comments
Declaration Of Independence Never Notarized; America Reverts To British Rule
A British court today ruled that The Declaration of Independence was never properly notarized, meaning that America never legally declared its independence from England. As a result, on the eve of Independence Day, The United States of America has ceased … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Declaration of Independence, Fourth of July, history, Humor, Independence Day, Modern Philosopher, Royal Family, Sarcasm, satire
77 Comments
British Military Intelligence Admits Redcoats Were A Bad Idea
Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
On this Independence Day, members high up in the British Military Intelligence community, having had a little to drink and many years to reflect, have decided the time has finally come…
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged British, Fourth of July, history, Humor, Independence Day, military, Modern Philosopher, Redcoats, Sarcasm, satire
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