Tag Archives: Holidays

Who’s Up For A Second Christmas?

Posted on December 25, 2020 by Austin

Merry Christmas, Modern Philosophers! I had an intriguing idea, and I thought I’d break the monotony of my lonely Christmas by sharing it with you in a blog post. Normally, I’d label this a brilliant idea, but with the way … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

What’s Your Thanksgiving Ratio?

Posted on November 23, 2019 by Austin

Thanksgiving is so close, Modern Philosophers, that I can totally sense the cold, judgmental glares from the uptight Pilgrim ghosts that haunt these parts. I don’t know about you, but Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that really gets the … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Rescuers Call Off Search For Missing Thanksgiving Leftovers

Posted on November 25, 2018 by Austin

Sunday, Day 4 I can’t believe this is happening!  I’ve searched everywhere, but they’re gone.  Completely vanished.  As if they weren’t even here in the first place! I’ve torn apart the refrigerator.  I didn’t even know the thing had a … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

And Then I Put On My Sweatpants…

Posted on November 22, 2018 by Austin

Thanksgiving is a bit anticlimactic, don’t you agree, Modern Philosophers? The entire day builds up to this enormous feast, but once you’re done eating, it feels just like any other meal.  You’re full, a bit bloated, maybe you burp a … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Trump Declares That Every Day Is Now President’s Day

Posted on February 20, 2017 by Austin

Happy Presidents Day, Modern Philosophers. In case you forgot about the holiday, don’t worry.  It will be coming around again much sooner than usual. As in tomorrow. President Trump signed a new Executive Order today declaring that every day is … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

What Would Christmas Want From Us?

Posted on December 2, 2016 by Austin

It’s the first Friday night of December, Modern Philosophers, which means we are crawling ever closer to the first day of Spring! Yes, I’m taking this being positive thing very seriously if I can see December 2 as being anywhere … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

I Am…

Posted on November 18, 2016 by Austin

sad. alone. confused. brokenhearted. doubting myself. wondering how this happened. wishing that someone would just understand. crying. unable to sleep. talking to myself. dreaming about her constantly. afraid of spending the rest of my life alone. incapable of getting anyone … Continue reading →

Posted in Love, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 40 Comments

The Feast Of The Big Sandwich

Posted on November 25, 2015 by Austin

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
Happy Feast of the Big Sandwich, Modern Philosophers! As I mentioned in my Monday Morning Coffee Club post, this is an actual holiday I made up when I lived in California.…

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Monday Morning Coffee Club: 11/2/15

Posted on November 2, 2015 by Austin

Can you believe it’s already November, Modern Philosophers? That means that Halloween Season has officially ended, and all the Otherworldly Beings who spent the month vacationing and celebrating the holiday in Maine have left to go back to their normal … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Thursday Night Fights

Posted on July 9, 2015 by Austin

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
We were out in my driveway, doing our usual Thursday night bare knuckle fight club, when the friend I had just slammed across the cheek with a vicious right hook uttered,…

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