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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Holidays
Holidays Aren’t For Everyone
“You know what excites me most about this three day holiday weekend?” Aaron asked from his end of the bench that overlooked the Penobscot River. “Do you mean the three day holiday weekend that only one person sitting on this … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged best friends, Christopher Columbus, flash fiction, Holidays, Humor, Indigenous Peoples' Day, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, short story
8 Comments
Who’s Up For A Second Christmas?
Merry Christmas, Modern Philosophers! I had an intriguing idea, and I thought I’d break the monotony of my lonely Christmas by sharing it with you in a blog post. Normally, I’d label this a brilliant idea, but with the way … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas, Humor
Tagged Christmas, coronavirus, COVID, do over, Holidays, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, social distancing
19 Comments
Rescuers Call Off Search For Missing Thanksgiving Leftovers
Sunday, Day 4 I can’t believe this is happening! I’ve searched everywhere, but they’re gone. Completely vanished. As if they weren’t even here in the first place! I’ve torn apart the refrigerator. I didn’t even know the thing had a … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged food, Holidays, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving leftovers
12 Comments
And Then I Put On My Sweatpants…
Thanksgiving is a bit anticlimactic, don’t you agree, Modern Philosophers? The entire day builds up to this enormous feast, but once you’re done eating, it feels just like any other meal. You’re full, a bit bloated, maybe you burp a … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged Christmas, Happy Thanksgiving, holiday blues, Holidays, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving dinner
4 Comments
Trump Declares That Every Day Is Now President’s Day
Happy Presidents Day, Modern Philosophers. In case you forgot about the holiday, don’t worry. It will be coming around again much sooner than usual. As in tomorrow. President Trump signed a new Executive Order today declaring that every day is … Continue reading
I Am…
sad. alone. confused. brokenhearted. doubting myself. wondering how this happened. wishing that someone would just understand. crying. unable to sleep. talking to myself. dreaming about her constantly. afraid of spending the rest of my life alone. incapable of getting anyone … Continue reading
Posted in Love, Philosophy, Poetry
Tagged alone, Broken Heart, coping, Holidays, life, loneliness, Love, Modern Philosopher, poem, Relationships, sadness
40 Comments
The Feast Of The Big Sandwich
This is an old, silly tradition that I started when I lived in California. May your sandwich always be delicious, filling, and made to your liking, Modern Philosophers!
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged big sandwich, California, Holidays, Humor, life, sarcasm, Thanksgiving, traditions
4 Comments
Thursday Night Fights
Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
We were out in my driveway, doing our usual Thursday night bare knuckle fight club, when the friend I had just slammed across the cheek with a vicious right hook uttered,…
Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing
Tagged fiction, Fight Club, friends, Holidays, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, short story, Thursday
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Turkey and Ham Shortage Leads To Liver and Onions For Christmas Dinner
A classic post from the Blog’s First Christmas. Happy Holidays!
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Christmas, Christmas Dinner, food, Holidays, Humor, liver and onions, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire
2 Comments
Thursday Night Fights
We were out in my driveway, doing our usual Thursday night bare knuckle fight club, when the friend I had just slammed across the cheek with a vicious right hook uttered, “Do you realize tomorrow is the last day of … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing
Tagged boxing, fiction, Fight Club, Holidays, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, short story, time flies
18 Comments