Tag Archives: Holidays

Holidays Aren’t For Everyone

Posted on October 10, 2021 by Austin

“You know what excites me most about this three day holiday weekend?” Aaron asked from his end of the bench that overlooked the Penobscot River. “Do you mean the three day holiday weekend that only one person sitting on this … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Who’s Up For A Second Christmas?

Posted on December 25, 2020 by Austin

Merry Christmas, Modern Philosophers! I had an intriguing idea, and I thought I’d break the monotony of my lonely Christmas by sharing it with you in a blog post. Normally, I’d label this a brilliant idea, but with the way … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Rescuers Call Off Search For Missing Thanksgiving Leftovers

Posted on November 25, 2018 by Austin

Sunday, Day 4 I can’t believe this is happening!  I’ve searched everywhere, but they’re gone.  Completely vanished.  As if they weren’t even here in the first place! I’ve torn apart the refrigerator.  I didn’t even know the thing had a … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

And Then I Put On My Sweatpants…

Posted on November 22, 2018 by Austin

Thanksgiving is a bit anticlimactic, don’t you agree, Modern Philosophers? The entire day builds up to this enormous feast, but once you’re done eating, it feels just like any other meal.  You’re full, a bit bloated, maybe you burp a … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Trump Declares That Every Day Is Now President’s Day

Posted on February 20, 2017 by Austin

Happy Presidents Day, Modern Philosophers. In case you forgot about the holiday, don’t worry.  It will be coming around again much sooner than usual. As in tomorrow. President Trump signed a new Executive Order today declaring that every day is … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

I Am…

Posted on November 18, 2016 by Austin

sad. alone. confused. brokenhearted. doubting myself. wondering how this happened. wishing that someone would just understand. crying. unable to sleep. talking to myself. dreaming about her constantly. afraid of spending the rest of my life alone. incapable of getting anyone … Continue reading →

Posted in Love, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 40 Comments

The Feast Of The Big Sandwich

Posted on November 25, 2015 by Austin

This is an old, silly tradition that I started when I lived in California. May your sandwich always be delicious, filling, and made to your liking, Modern Philosophers!

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Thursday Night Fights

Posted on July 9, 2015 by Austin

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
We were out in my driveway, doing our usual Thursday night bare knuckle fight club, when the friend I had just slammed across the cheek with a vicious right hook uttered,…

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Turkey and Ham Shortage Leads To Liver and Onions For Christmas Dinner

Posted on December 12, 2014 by Austin

A classic post from the Blog’s First Christmas. Happy Holidays!

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Thursday Night Fights

Posted on January 30, 2014 by Austin

We were out in my driveway, doing our usual Thursday night bare knuckle fight club, when the friend I had just slammed across the cheek with a vicious right hook uttered, “Do you realize tomorrow is the last day of … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments