Tag Archives: Hollywood

How To Date Like An Oscar Contender

Posted on February 25, 2017 by Austin

The Academy Awards are this weekend, Modern Philosophers, and as a screenwriter, it has always been my dream to win an Oscar. Just like it’s always been my dream to find true love and live happily ever after. I haven’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Dating, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

A Peek Behind The Curtains Of Hell

Posted on November 20, 2016 by Austin

I was in my trailer, hard at work on my new screenplay, when there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” I yelled without looking up from the laptop because I really wanted to finish the scene without derailing … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

When Hollywood Tries To Apologize

Posted on June 14, 2016 by Austin

It looks like Hollywood is trying to kiss and make up, Modern Philosophers. On Friday, my weekly column on The Good Men Project was about the time I met with Dr. Dre to discuss my screenplay, .33 Reverse Gunther.  Everything … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Hollywood Confirmed As Ring Of Hell

Posted on June 12, 2016 by Austin

“I really enjoyed your column on The Good Men Project this week about the time you met Dr. Dre,” The Devil complimented me as he handed me a Snapple.  “I’ve never actually met the man.  Is he as cool as … Continue reading →

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That Time Hollywood Crushed Me

Posted on June 10, 2016 by Austin

Can you recall the exact moment that your life changed forever, Modern Philosophers? I remember it like it happened only yesterday, even though it occurred 15 years ago.  I rarely think about it because when I do, I hate myself … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Talking About Little Gold Men Who Hate Star Wars

Posted on March 4, 2016 by Austin

It’s Friday night, Modern Philosophers, so why not wrap up the week with my Oscars conspiracy theory article on The Good Men Project? Once again, the wonderful folks over at GMP have carved out a little space for my Deep … Continue reading →

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The Statue of the Damned

Posted on February 28, 2016 by Austin

“You know what I like most about the Oscars?” The Devil asked as he passed me the platter of his Hellfire Wings. “Checking to make sure that you are better dressed than any of the men in attendance?” I quipped … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Oscars’ Alarming Lack Of Star Wars Diversity

Posted on February 28, 2016 by Austin

The Academy Awards are tonight, Modern Philosophers, and I really don’t care. As a screenwriter, NYU Film School graduate, and card carrying Film Nerd, the Oscars are supposed to be my celluloid version of the Super Bowl. By now, I … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Kylo Ren Vows To Destroy Hollywood After Oscar Snub

Posted on January 20, 2016 by Austin

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, an epic story unfolded that would become the basis of one of the highest grossing movies of all time, Modern Philosophers. In the present day, however, the members of the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Batman Vs Daredevil On Hold Until Studio Perfects Ben Affleck Clone

Posted on April 21, 2015 by Austin

The big announcement out of Hollywood today is that the potential blockbuster movie for the Summer of 2017, Batman Versus Daredevil, has been put on hold due to lack of advancements in cloning. According to the studio that’s financing the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments