Tag Archives: Horror Movies

A Nightmare on Pennsylvania Avenue

Posted on June 9, 2016 by Austin

I haven’t slept much lately, Modern Philosophers, because I’ve been having the most terrifying nightmares. I wake up in a cold sweat, my heart is racing, and I’m far too frightened to go back to sleep lest I slip back … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

How To Tell If Your Date Is A Horror Movie Survivor

Posted on May 14, 2016 by Austin

The interns tell me I’m long overdue for a new Dating Tips post, Modern Philosophers.  Since I love being told to do by well educated twentysomethings, I decided to get right on that. Dating can be very scary, and like … Continue reading →

Posted in Dating, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Jason Voorhees Endorses Donald Trump

Posted on May 13, 2016 by Austin

On a beautiful Friday the 13th, at a press conference held at scenic Camp Crystal Lake, seemingly immortal serial killer, movie star, and goalie mask enthusiast Jason Voorhees endorsed Donald Trump for President. “I believe that Mr. Trump can make … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Freddy Krueger Admitted To Sleep Lab To Treat Extreme Insomnia

Posted on October 21, 2014 by Austin

Freddy Krueger, a local custodian and occasional sweater model, was admitted to St. Joseph’s Sleep Lab in Bangor for treatment of extreme insomnia. According to Dr. Rypp Vanwinckel, the head of the hospital’s Sleep Studies Department, Mr. Krueger’s insomnia was … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

There’s Something In The Fog…

Posted on May 29, 2014 by Austin

I loved watching horror movies when I was a kid, Modern Philosophers.  I’d rent them or catch them on TV since I was too young to see them in the theater, and I’d laugh when I was supposed to be … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

I Scream, You Scream…

Posted on February 24, 2014 by Austin

If I were Walking down The street, And I saw Someone in a Ghostface mask Coming towards me, I’d run. Of course, The horror movie Fan in me Would want To know What the hell Was going on, But I’d … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Win A Camping Weekend With Jason Voorhees!

Posted on September 13, 2013 by Austin

Happy Friday the 13th, Modern Philosophers! As you know, I write movies in my spare time, with thrillers and horrors stories being my specialty.   I grew up loving the horror classics: Halloween, The Fog, A Nightmare On Elm Street, … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 45 Comments

Bite Me! The Benefit For Werewolf Awareness In Maine

Posted on April 17, 2013 by Austin

Bite Me!, the benefit to help save Maine’s Werewolf population, is really starting to take shape.  Organizers plan to hold the event at the Bangor Waterfront, home to the Summer Concert Series, in the days leading up to May’s full … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

MOVIE REVIEW: Good Friday the 13th: Judas Lives!

Posted on March 29, 2013 by Austin

It wouldn’t truly be the Easter Season without the release of the next film in the Good Friday the 13th horror franchise.  As always, the story follows hockey mask wearing, machete wielding serial killer, Judas Iscariot, the former Apostle who … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

Bride Of Frankenstein Files For Divorce; Wants Her Own Name & A New Hairstyle

Posted on March 11, 2013 by Austin

The Bride of Frankenstein today filed for divorce from her long time husband, Frankenstein’s Monster, citing irreconcilable differences.  The couple has been estranged since Valentine’s Day, and the Bride has kept a low profile at the their Kennebunkport estate since … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments