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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Humor
Smashing Icicles Rejuvenates The Soul
If I were ever to write a Self Help book, Modern Philosophers, it would borrow the title of this blog post. As I discovered after work today, smashing icicles really does rejuvenate the soul. You can simply trust me on … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged coping skills, Humor, icicles, life hacks, Maine, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, winter
3 Comments
After Dinner Mints: Conflicting Cravings
It’s been a long time since I wrote an After Dinner Mints post, Modern Philosophers, so I thought tonight was the perfect time to revive that feature. Basically, I really wanted to write something, but I didn’t feel like I … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged cravings, food, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, Philosophy, Sarcasm, satire
4 Comments
Based On A Totally Untrue Story
“Thanks again for letting me read the new chapter of your work in progress,” Holly said excitedly from her side of the path as she warmed her hands on her cup of coffee. “I was just excited to see you … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged best friends, flash fiction, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, Sarcasm, satire, short story, social distancing, writing
8 Comments
Restocking My Panic Pantry
Doesn’t the title of this blog post sound like an excellent metaphor for the life of a guy with a plethora of fears and phobias, Modern Philosophers? Can you imagine me figuratively restocking my metaphoric panic pantry ever time something … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged always be prepared, coronavirus, food, Humor, Modern Philosopher, pandemic, panic room, Sarcasm, satire
13 Comments
Talk My Ear Off, Win My Heart
The other day, someone asked what I was looking for in a relationship, Modern Philosophers. That’s an intriguing question, that I could have spent hours answering, but I had a sense my friend was looking for something cut and dry. … Continue reading
Posted in Dating, Humor
Tagged conversation, dating, Humor, Love, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, Sarcasm, satire
9 Comments
Enjoy Your Discount Chocolate
It’s February 15th, Modern Philosophers, so I suggest you scramble off to the local grocery store to pick up leftover Valentine’s Day candy at severely discounted prices. Please buy this candy for your own enjoyment. If you’re buying it for … Continue reading
Don’t You Be My Valentine!
“Happy Valentine’s Day!” Holly yelled enthusiastically from her side of the path. Aaron groaned from his side, and then took a long sip of his Snapple. “Don’t start that crap,” he grumbled. “What do you mean?” she shot back innocently. … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged best friends, flash fiction, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, Sarcasm, satire, short story, social distancing, Valentine's Day
10 Comments
I Forgot It Was Valentine’s Day. And That’s Great!
It wasn’t until a coworker handed out chocolates in the office yesterday, Modern Philosophers, that I realized it was Valentine’s Day weekend. And I think that’s great. Normally, I’d dwell on the fact that I was single on Valentine’s Day. … Continue reading
Posted in Dating, Humor
Tagged dating, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, Sarcasm, satire, Valentine's Day
2 Comments
A New Grip On Reality
Regular readers of this blog might have noticed the vanishing act I pulled on Tuesday morning, Modern Philosophers. I wrote a post Monday night about receiving my second Coronavirus vaccination. Then I deleted it about twelve hours later. I wanted … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor
Tagged coronavirus, Fitness, health, Humor, Maine, Modern Philosopher, running, Sarcasm, satire, social distancing, vaccine
9 Comments
Not So Super Sunday
Holly waited for Aaron to lower his mask and take a sip of his Snapple before she hit him with her question. “Are you going to watch the Super Bowl?” She knew he was going to give her some sort … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged flash fiction, Humor, Kansas City Chiefs, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, short story, social distancing, Super Bowl, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
1 Comment