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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Humor
The Windows To My Bankruptcy
“You look angry,” Holly pointed out as she watched Aaron sip his Snapple. “I can see it in your eyes, and the eyes are the windows to the soul.” She smiled. He did not. It was a beautiful day along … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged best friends, home improvements, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, short story, windows
5 Comments
Biden’s European Apology Tour A Huge Success
The results are in, Modern Philosophers, and President Joe Biden’s recent trip to apologize to European leaders for his predecessor’s behavior has been declared a huge success! Sure, the cover story was that President Biden was traveling to Europe for … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Politics
Tagged G7 Summit, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Politics, President Biden, sarcasm, satire, world leaders
5 Comments
The $43,000 Question
What would you do with $43,000, Modern Philosophers? It’s not a trick question, and there are no wrong answers. I’m just curious how you would spend that amount of money if you had it. I know it’s an odd amount, … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged economics, home improvement, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, money, sarcasm, satire, windows
13 Comments
What Do Ducks Think?
Martha and Mildred were octogenarians and lifelong Mainers, who loved walking along the river whenever the weather allowed. “Look, there’s that cute couple we see every Sunday,” Martha pointed out to her best friend. “They look like they really love … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged best friends, Humor, Love, Modern Philosopher, outward appearances, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, short story
14 Comments
The Landscaping Hunger Games
There’s a reason they never arm the writers in movies, Modern Philosophers. They just let them believe that whole “The pen is mightier than the sword!” idea so that writers don’t go out on the battlefield and injure themselves and … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged Humor, Hunger Games, landscaping, Modern Philosopher, mowing the lawn, running, Sarcasm, satire
4 Comments
The Thoughtlessness Of Grass
A friend asked what I was doing this weekend, Modern Philosophers, and I rambled off a few random, but relaxing things. Then I added that since the grass refuses to stop growing, I really should mow the lawn. That got … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged gardening, Humor, lawn care, life, Modern Philosopher, mowing the lawn, Sarcasm, satire, social obligations
4 Comments
The Chickens Laid Fried Eggs
After a long, uncomfortable, sweltering week, I have finally emerged from my basement bunker, Modern Philosophers. It was disgustingly hot in Maine this week. I’d love to go into details about just how hot it was, but this is not … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged heat wave, Humor, Maine, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, Summer, weather
2 Comments
Running A Slight Baby Fever
“Do you want to have kids?” Holly asked nonchalantly from her end of the bench. Aaron, who was sitting on the other end of the same bench, spit out the Snapple that he had just sipped from the bottle. Luckily … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged best friends, flash fiction, Humor, Modern Philosopher, parenting, Relationships, Sarcasm, satire, short story, social distancing
5 Comments
Free Your Face And Your Legs Will Follow
Today was a very important day in Maine, Modern Philosophers. June 5 will go down as the day that I officially switched over to shorts for my morning run. This is a huge step that those of you who are … Continue reading
Who Was That Unmasked Man?
Last night, for the first time in fifteen months, I stepped into my local grocery store without a mask, Modern Philosophers! It’s amazing how wildly the pendulum can swing. Grocery shopping went from being an annoying weekly chore to a … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged back to normal, coronavirus, Covid 19, grocery shopping, Humor, masks, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, social distancing
7 Comments
