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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Ice Cream
Why Did I Shelter In Place Without Ice Cream?
I have so much time now to ponder some of the great philosophical questions, Modern Philosophers. Today seemed like the perfect opportunity to tackle one that’s really been on my mind lately. Why in the world did I decide to … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged coronavirus, Covid 19, food, Humor, Ice Cream, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, shelter in place, social distancing, stay at home
14 Comments
Deep Thoughts Before Ice Cream
I woke up feeling like crap, Modern Philosophers. And not just because I knew I had to go to work. Even though I was a tad under the weather, I pushed myself to go for my morning run. I’ve been … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Deep Thoughts, Humor, Ice Cream, inspiration, life, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, The Nite Show with Danny Cashman, writing, Yankees
8 Comments
Bury My Head In Ice Cream
Being of unsound mind And extremely Stressed body, I hereby declare That I wish To be buried In ice cream. That might not be A typical Last request, But at the moment, It’s exactly What I need. Truth be told, … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged comfort foods, coping with stress, food, Humor, Ice Cream, mental health, Modern Philosopher, poem, sarcasm, satire, stress
13 Comments
Thoughts on a Walk (That Never Happened)
There’s something in the Maine air lately, Modern Philosophers, that’s turned me into an insomniac with a glandular problem. The Republicans can scream at the top of their lungs that Global Warming isn’t a thing, but when I’m sweating my … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Autumn, Deep Thoughts, global warming, heat wave, Humor, Ice Cream, insomnia, Life in Maine, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire
9 Comments
The Rise of the Ice Cream Socialists
At a time when our President cannot find the words to condemn Nazis and white supremacists, I think it’s time to support a new political party to lead our nation back from the brink of Trump-ageddon, Modern Philosophers. I offer … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Politics
Tagged a nation divided, Donald Trump, Humor, Ice Cream, idependent voters, Modern Philosopher, political parties, Politics, Racism, sarcasm, satire
22 Comments
Holy $@#%, I Ate Ice Cream!
You’d better sit down for this one, Modern Philosophers. Come to think of it, you might want to strap yourself in. If you don’t have straps, get your interns to hold you down. And if you don’t have interns, well, … Continue reading
Ice Cream For Dinner
You can probably tell from the title of the post what kind of day I’ve had, Modern Philosophers. Very early in the afternoon, as my lunch salad sat heavily in my stomach and the work day dragged slowly on, I … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged coping, emotions, Humor, Ice Cream, life, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, roller coaster, sarcasm, satire, stress
19 Comments
Gimme That Free Ice Cream!
One of the best things, if not the greatest thing, about being a kid, Modern Philosophers, is all the free stuff. There are no bills to pay and no family to support, which means there is no need for a … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged adulthood, childhood, freedom, Humor, Ice Cream, life, Modern Philosopher, responsibility, sarcasm, satire, work
21 Comments
Surrender Your Bodily Fluids Immediately!
I always expect Mondays to be challenging, Modern Philosophers, but this one caught me off guard mere moments after I walked through the front door at work this morning. No sooner had I put my lunch in the fridge and … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged angry nurse, health insurance, Humor, Ice Cream, losing your voice, Modern Philosopher, Monday, Sarcasm, satire, Sick, urine sample
27 Comments
Dolly Madison: For Dieters Who Like To Cheat With Ice Cream
Lost in the aftermath of the Ashley Madison hack and the marriages it ended, was the fact that there existed a much lesser known sister site called Dolly Madison. While the former catered to married people (let’s face it…married men) … Continue reading
Posted in Dating, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Ashley Madison, dating sites, diet, food, Humor, Ice Cream, infidelity, life, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire
9 Comments