Tag Archives: Ice Cream

Why Did I Shelter In Place Without Ice Cream?

Posted on April 17, 2020 by Austin

I have so much time now to ponder some of the great philosophical questions, Modern Philosophers.  Today seemed like the perfect opportunity to tackle one that’s really been on my mind lately. Why in the world did I decide to … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Deep Thoughts Before Ice Cream

Posted on September 27, 2018 by Austin

I woke up feeling like crap, Modern Philosophers.  And not just because I knew I had to go to work. Even though I was a tad under the weather, I pushed myself to go for my morning run.  I’ve been … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Bury My Head In Ice Cream

Posted on December 5, 2017 by Austin

Being of unsound mind And extremely Stressed body, I hereby declare That I wish To be buried In ice cream. That might not be A typical Last request, But at the moment, It’s exactly What I need. Truth be told, … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Thoughts on a Walk (That Never Happened)

Posted on September 26, 2017 by Austin

There’s something in the Maine air lately, Modern Philosophers, that’s turned me into an insomniac with a glandular problem. The Republicans can scream at the top of their lungs that Global Warming isn’t a thing, but when I’m sweating my … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

The Rise of the Ice Cream Socialists

Posted on August 17, 2017 by Austin

At a time when our President cannot find the words to condemn Nazis and white supremacists, I think it’s time to support a new political party to lead our nation back from the brink of Trump-ageddon, Modern Philosophers. I offer … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

Holy $@#%, I Ate Ice Cream!

Posted on May 31, 2017 by Austin

You’d better sit down for this one, Modern Philosophers. Come to think of it, you might want to strap yourself in.  If you don’t have straps, get your interns to hold you down. And if you don’t have interns, well, … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Ice Cream For Dinner

Posted on September 6, 2016 by Austin

You can probably tell from the title of the post what kind of day I’ve had, Modern Philosophers. Very early in the afternoon, as my lunch salad sat heavily in my stomach and the work day dragged slowly on, I … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Gimme That Free Ice Cream!

Posted on June 16, 2016 by Austin

One of the best things, if not the greatest thing, about being a kid, Modern Philosophers, is all the free stuff. There are no bills to pay and no family to support, which means there is no need for a … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

Surrender Your Bodily Fluids Immediately!

Posted on September 21, 2015 by Austin

I always expect Mondays to be challenging, Modern Philosophers, but this one caught me off guard mere moments after I walked through the front door at work this morning. No sooner had I put my lunch in the fridge and … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

Dolly Madison: For Dieters Who Like To Cheat With Ice Cream

Posted on September 9, 2015 by Austin

Lost in the aftermath of the Ashley Madison hack and the marriages it ended, was the fact that there existed a much lesser known sister site called Dolly Madison. While the former catered to married people (let’s face it…married men) … Continue reading →

Posted in Dating, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments