Tag Archives: Ice Cream

They All Scream For Ice Cream…In Hell

Posted on July 19, 2015 by Austin

“Happy National Ice Cream Day!” The Devil said excitedly as he marched into the living room and handed me a large Blizzard. “You went to Dairy Queen?” I asked with surprise as I enthusiastically took the blue cup from him … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

I Scream, You Scream…Just Shut Up And Have Some Ice Cream

Posted on July 19, 2015 by Austin

Apparently, today is National Ice Cream Day, Modern Philosophers. And people wonder why Americans are so overweight and out of shape… I usually write my advice column on Sundays,  so I’m going to advise you to not worry about the … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

“Smart” Ice Cream Offers Faster Fix For Sadness And Broken Hearts

Posted on April 23, 2015 by Austin

The next time life has you down, Modern Philosophers, and you reach for that quart of ice cream to make it all better, expect much quicker results! Scientists at Maine’s prestigious Chamberlain Laboratories have created a Smart Ice Cream, which … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 59 Comments

I’ve Got To Make Room For The Ice Cream!

Posted on September 28, 2014 by Austin

It’s another gorgeous Summer’s day in Maine, Modern Philosophers, despite the fact that it is September 28. It’s currently 84 degrees, I’ve got the windows open, I’m wearing shorts, and the sun is filling The House on the Hill with … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Is This The Global Warming We Were Promised?

Posted on September 27, 2014 by Austin

I just went for a walk up to the local supermarket, Modern Philosophers. It was a walk, that on the final weekend of September, made me so hot that I had to slip into the restroom to throw cold water … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 34 Comments

Jump Start Your Brain: Ice Cream!!!

Posted on August 16, 2014 by Austin

Happy Saturday, Modern Philosophers! What an awesome day this has turned out to be!  It was gray and gloomy when I awakened, but now it’s sunny and breezy.  Perfect weather to be writing out on the porch of The House … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

Mainers Get An A+ In Ice Cream

Posted on July 20, 2014 by Austin

Happy National Ice Cream Day! How would you do on this quiz?

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This Devil Don’t Grill

Posted on June 8, 2014 by Austin

“I could fire up the grill if you’re hungry,” I told Lucifer as I handed him another Snapple out of the cooler.  “I’ve got some red hot dogs in the fridge.” It was so quiet out on the porch that … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

Blizzard Of Zombies Turns Brewer Dairy Queen Into Royal Mess

Posted on August 20, 2013 by Austin

It was such a hot day in Maine today, Modern Philosophers, that the Zombies were willing to trade in their usual feast of brains for an attack of brain freeze. At 12:13pm, Brewer Police responded to a frantic 911 call … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments