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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Jedi
My Own Personal Death Star
A long time ago, in a neighborhood far, far away, a lonely boy sat in his bedroom in Brooklyn, and dreamed about growing up to be a Jedi Knight. That sad, lonely, nerdy boy was me, Modern Philosophers. You didn’t … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged Death Star, Humor, Jedi, life, Modern Philosopher, movies, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, Star Wars
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Total Eclipse of the Gun Show
Big ideas and grand schemes take up most of the space in my head, Modern Philosophers, but it’s the little things that constantly keep my brain preoccupied. These tiny distractions then derail my progress towards total happiness, and I have … Continue reading
Space Explorer, Time Traveler, or Jedi Knight?
Welcome to The Friday Night Think Tank, Modern Philosophers! It has been a very long week, both literally and figuratively, as I worked over 50 hours between the desk job and The Nite Show. I didn’t sleep well due to … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged aliens, Friday Night Think Tank, Humor, Jedi, Modern Philosopher, Philosophy, sarcasm, satire, space travel, Star Wars, Time Travel
25 Comments
Farewell, Sweet Princess
There is much sadness across the galaxy, Modern Philosophers, at the news of the passing of Carrie Fisher. While a great writer and an actress of many roles, Fisher will be forever remembered by fan boys and girls throughout the … Continue reading
May The 4th Mile Be With You!
After months of lollygagging along my running route, Modern Philosophers, I decided to search my feelings and trust the Force. So this morning, I put on my Jedi robe rather than my running toga (I left the lightsaber at home, … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor
Tagged health, Humor, Jedi, Modern Philosopher, motivation, running, sarcasm, satire, Star Wars, weight loss, wellness
2 Comments
Trump…A Disturbance In The Force
I had a serious headache that only grew worse as the day progressed, Modern Philosophers. At first I blamed work. It has a tendency to melt my brain, and as that organ slowly liquefies, I generally develop a nagging headache. … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Politics
Tagged 2016 Presidential Election, Donald Trump, Humor, Jedi, Maine, Modern Philosopher, Politics, sarcasm, satire, Star Wars, The Force
4 Comments
The Jedi Retail Mind Trick
“These are definitely the Star Wars shirts you are looking for!” — Young Ben Kenobi, Men’s Department Associate Everyone knows that the Jedi Mind Trick is a powerful weapon, Modern Philosophers, but few people realize that it is the Jedi … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged advertising, fan boy, fashion, Humor, Jedi, Jedi Mind Trick, Modern Philosopher, movies, sarcasm, satire, Star Wars
10 Comments
Are You Better Off Being Single On Valentine’s Day?
The interns tell me, Modern Philosophers, that I have received a ton of emails from you requesting another Dating Tips post. With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, it seems like the perfect time to share my Deep Thoughts on the … Continue reading
Posted in Dating, Holidays, Humor, Love, Philosophy
Tagged being single, Cupid, dating tips, Humor, Jedi, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, Star Wars, Valentines' Day
24 Comments
What If The 3 Wise Men Were Jedi Knights?
I really love this time of year, Modern Philosophers, when we are counting down the days until that magical December moment we’ve been looking forward to for months finally arrives. Of course, I’m talking about the premiere of Star Wars: … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Baby Jesus, Christmas, Humor, Jedi, Modern Philosopher, Religion, sarcasm, satire, Star Wars, The Nativity, Three Wise Men
22 Comments
What Would Ben Kenobi Do?
Two college boys Sitting in a Starbucks, Eying the cute barista, Daring each other To ask her out. Clearly, neither has The confidence Or the je ne sais quoi To approach her. I saunter to their table, Shake my head, … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy, Poetry
Tagged Ben Kenobi, dating, Humor, Jedi, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, Star Wars
28 Comments