Tag Archives: Jedi

My Own Personal Death Star

Posted on May 24, 2019 by Austin

A long time ago, in a neighborhood far, far away, a lonely boy sat in his bedroom in Brooklyn, and dreamed about growing up to be a Jedi Knight. That sad, lonely, nerdy boy was me, Modern Philosophers. You didn’t … Continue reading →

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Total Eclipse of the Gun Show

Posted on July 17, 2017 by Austin

Big ideas and grand schemes take up most of the space in my head, Modern Philosophers, but it’s the little things that constantly keep my brain preoccupied. These tiny distractions then derail my progress towards total happiness, and I have … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Space Explorer, Time Traveler, or Jedi Knight?

Posted on March 3, 2017 by Austin

Welcome to The Friday Night Think Tank, Modern Philosophers! It has been a very long week, both literally and figuratively, as I worked over 50 hours between the desk job and The Nite Show.  I didn’t sleep well due to … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

Farewell, Sweet Princess

Posted on December 27, 2016 by Austin

There is much sadness across the galaxy, Modern Philosophers, at the news of the passing of Carrie Fisher. While a great writer and an actress of many roles, Fisher will be forever remembered by fan boys and girls throughout the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

May The 4th Mile Be With You!

Posted on October 22, 2016 by Austin

After months of lollygagging along my running route, Modern Philosophers, I decided to search my feelings and trust the Force. So this morning, I put on my Jedi robe rather than my running toga (I left the lightsaber at home, … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Trump…A Disturbance In The Force

Posted on June 29, 2016 by Austin

I had a serious headache that only grew worse as the day progressed, Modern Philosophers. At first I blamed work.  It has a tendency to melt my brain, and as that organ slowly liquefies, I generally develop a nagging headache. … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Jedi Retail Mind Trick

Posted on May 11, 2016 by Austin

“These are definitely the Star Wars shirts you are looking for!” — Young Ben Kenobi, Men’s Department Associate Everyone knows that the Jedi Mind Trick is a powerful weapon, Modern Philosophers, but few people realize that it is the Jedi … Continue reading →

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Are You Better Off Being Single On Valentine’s Day?

Posted on January 30, 2016 by Austin

The interns tell me, Modern Philosophers, that I have received a ton of emails from you requesting another Dating Tips post. With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, it seems like the perfect time to share my Deep Thoughts on the … Continue reading →

Posted in Dating, Holidays, Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

What If The 3 Wise Men Were Jedi Knights?

Posted on December 3, 2015 by Austin

I really love this time of year, Modern Philosophers, when we are counting down the days until that magical December moment we’ve been looking forward to for months finally arrives. Of course, I’m talking about the premiere of Star Wars: … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

What Would Ben Kenobi Do?

Posted on November 13, 2013 by Austin

Two college boys Sitting in a Starbucks, Eying the cute barista, Daring each other To ask her out. Clearly, neither has The confidence Or the je ne sais quoi To approach her. I saunter to their table, Shake my head, … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , | 28 Comments