Tag Archives: John Kelly

Trump Taps Burgermeister Meisterburger As His New Chief Of Staff

Despite the rumors that no one wanted the job, President Trump wasted very little time finding a replacement for outgoing Chief of Staff John Kelly, Modern Philosophers. According to a typo-riddled tweet sent in the wee hours of the morning, … Continue reading

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Trump Preemptively Fires Random Americans From White House Jobs

President Trump today fired 5,000 Americans from jobs in the White House. Predictably, the citizens, who had never worked for the President or at the White House, were caught off guard by the move. The termination notices were sent out … Continue reading

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