Tag Archives: lawsuit

Camels To Sue Makers Of Backbreaking Straw

Camels across the world have filed a class action lawsuit against the manufacturers of straw known to break their backs. Fittingly filed on Hump Day, the suit claims that the makers of the straw “knowingly and with malicious intent continue … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Tipsy Genie In Wine Bottle Sued For Malpractice

Christopher Patton of Milford thought that his first date had gone from okay to magical when the bottle of wine he’d bought for the occasion turned out to contain a Genie. “It had been going okay as far as first … Continue reading

Posted in Dating, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Alice Sues For Wrongful Termination After Failing Post-Wonderland Drug Test

A Bangor resident, identified only as “Alice” in court papers, has filed a multimillion dollar lawsuit against the Maine company that fired her after she failed a random drug test. The company, which is not being identified at this time, … Continue reading

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Women Named Emmy Seeking Injunction To Stop Tonight’s Emmy Awards

The 66th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards, honoring the best in American primetime television, are scheduled to be held tonight at the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles, Modern Philosophers. That will not be happening, however, if fifty-seven American women named Emmy … Continue reading

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Father Time Alleges Age Discrimination; Resolves to Fight Forced Retirement

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
“Baby New Year can cry all he wants, but he’s not getting my job!” declared an irate Father Time as he stood on the steps outside the courthouse in downtown Bangor. …

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Stoners Bummed Over Harsh Reality About Turkey Pot Pie, Dude

A Seattle based group calling itself The Stoners Brigade is threatening to sue turkey pot pie manufacturers for false advertising. It’s no coincidence that this announcement comes so close to Thanksgiving, Modern Philosophers.  Apparently, the organization had planned to have … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments