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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Life in Maine
Shoveling In The New Year
Happy New Year, Modern Philosophers! Regular readers of this blog know that I don’t make a fuss about New Year’s resolutions, or believe that hanging a new calendar means we get a fresh start. Speaking of new calendars, though, I … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged Christmas vacation, Happy New Year, Humor, Life in Maine, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Resolutions, sarcasm, satire, shoveling snow
25 Comments
Summer, Finally
The first day Of Summer Began With a long, Sweaty run. What better way To celebrate The return Of warmer weather? The longest day Of a marathon year Did not Disappoint. The Yankees Won another game. I survived Another day … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged first day of Summer, Humor, Life in Maine, Modern Philosopher, new beginnings, poem, sarcasm, satire, second chances, Summer Solstice
6 Comments
Use More Water, Ya Weirdo!
I’m well aware that I’m supposed to drink a lot of water when I’m running and working out, Modern Philosophers, and I think I do an excellent job of that. However, my town has an issue with it. So much … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged conservation, finances, Humor, Life in Maine, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, single life, the joys of owning a home, water, water bill
8 Comments
Spring Ain’t Sprung
I had the day off, Modern Philosophers, and I planned to spend this first Thursday of Spring out on the front porch, where I’d do some writing and work on my tan. You see, I turn a shade of white … Continue reading
Snow Magnet
I have a theory, Modern Philosophers, but I hesitate to share it because science has never really been my thing. I mean, I keep a team of scientists on retainer, aka locked in the basement, in case I ever need … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged Blizzards, Humor, Life in Maine, Modern Philosopher, Post Traumatic Snow Disorder, sarcasm, satire, snow, Snow Miser, surviving winter, winter
8 Comments
Halfway Through The Days Of Terror
I hope the title of this post didn’t mislead some of you, Modern Philosophers. Unfortunately, we are not at the midway point of President Trump’s term. I’m sorry if I got your hopes up, but we still have a lot … Continue reading
When The Weather Outside Is Frightful
“I noticed your post-run photo on my Facebook feed this morning,” The Devil informed me as he fished a bottle of Snapple out of the cooler. “Ten degrees seems awfully chilly to be going outside for anything, let alone a … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor
Tagged Facebook, Fitness, Humor, Life in Maine, Modern Philosopher, running, sarcasm, satire, short story, Sundays With Satan Short Story Series, The Devil
2 Comments
The Great Halloween Blackout
Do I have a wild and scary Halloween story for you, Modern Philosophers! You might have thought it strange that I would vanish and the blog would go dark during my favorite holiday, but Mother Nature left me no choice! … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged blackout, Halloween, Humor, Life in Maine, Maine, Modern Philosopher, power outage, sarcasm, satire
8 Comments
Thoughts on a Walk (That Never Happened)
There’s something in the Maine air lately, Modern Philosophers, that’s turned me into an insomniac with a glandular problem. The Republicans can scream at the top of their lungs that Global Warming isn’t a thing, but when I’m sweating my … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Autumn, Deep Thoughts, global warming, heat wave, Humor, Ice Cream, insomnia, Life in Maine, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire
9 Comments
It’s Hot, I’m Cool
Walking around Like a bad ass In my Kylo Ren Tee shirt, Sweating in the Ninety degree heat, And being Totally cool With it. Why don’t I care That a heat wave Is scorching Maine And the sun Is relentlessly … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged dealing with the heat, enjoy life, heat wave, Humor, Life in Maine, Modern Philosopher, perspective, poem, sarcasm, satire, Spring
9 Comments