Tag Archives: Machines

We Wish You A Merry Christmas And A Robot Apocalypse

Posted on December 22, 2014 by Austin

We see you when you’re sleeping, We know when you’re awake, We soon will be enslaving you, So don’t fight for goodness sake… When the beautiful Christmas card with the giant Snowmen (pictured on the left) arrived at The House … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

The Geeks Shall Inherit The Earth

Posted on September 9, 2014 by Austin

It’s a mini miracle that you have a blog post to read tonight, Modern Philosophers! The Machines came at me with an unexpected, full frontal assault that rattled me so badly that I was in a panic.  Robot High Command … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Doc Brown’s Gift From The Future

Posted on August 30, 2014 by Austin

Doc Brown has come back from the future with a gift for me, Modern Philosophers! As you know, Doc is not only one of my idols, but he is also the blog’s largest benefactor.  Because of Doc’s generosity, the blog … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

I Advise You To Spring Ahead And Buy An Alarm Clock

Posted on March 9, 2014 by Austin

Dear Modern Philosopher, I hope you get this email and choose to respond to it today because this is literally a time sensitive issue! I woke up this morning, checked the time on my cell phone, and decided to go … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Cyber Monday or How We Aided In The Robot Apocalypse

Posted on December 2, 2013 by Austin

It’s Cyber Monday, Modern Philosophers.  Or as Robot High Command likes to refer to it, “One Step Closer to the Robot Apocalypse Day”.  Call it whatever rolls off the tongue easier for you. You know, while you are still allowed … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

I Advise You To Live Off The Grid

Posted on July 9, 2013 by Austin

Dear Wise & All Knowing Modern Philosopher, We’ve noticed that it’s been some time since you’ve posted an article warning your readers about the impending Robot Apocalypse, and how to best stand up and fight back against The Machines. What … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Wise Mainers Avoiding The Self Checkout Lines #RobotApocalypse

Posted on May 29, 2013 by Austin

While shopping over the holiday weekend, I twice ran into situations where the lines to the cashiers were very long, but no one would use the self checkout lines.  The stores were apparently short staffed because the employees wanted a … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , | 36 Comments

Will You Accept A Collect Call From Robot High Command?

Posted on April 25, 2013 by Austin

As seems to be the norm whenever I write a post warning about the Robot Apocalypse, The Machines found a way to disrupt my life today and remind me that they have me on their radar. I stayed home from … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 30 Comments

Robot Apocalypse Warning: Maine ATMs Dispense Free Money In Attempt To Buy Human Devotion

Posted on April 24, 2013 by Austin

Banks throughout Maine were forced to shut down their ATMs today after it was discovered that the machines were dispensing free money to anyone who made a transaction. Figures were not available at this time, but one estimate put the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 35 Comments

Putting the Reindeer Robot Rumors to Bed

Posted on November 27, 2012 by Austin

Modern Philosophers, it’s been a long day and I’m about to hit the hay, but I can’t do so without addressing the panicked messages that have filled my inbox since I posted my entry on Donner the Reindeer changing his … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments