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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Modern Philosophers
America Stops Looking For Marco (Polo!)
The American electorate has finally decided to get out of the pool, Modern Philosophers. Alas, our boring game of Marco (Polo!) has come to a merciful end. A month and a half after his epic third place finish in the … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics
Tagged 2016 Presidential Election, Donald Trump, Florida Primary, Humor, Marco Rubio, Modern Philosophers, Politics, Republicans, sarcasm, satire, third place
5 Comments
The Grinch Says 8 Days Of Hanukkah Are Just Too Tempting
Please keep an old friend in your thoughts and prayers this Holiday Season, Modern Philosophers. It turns out that The Grinch, that big, ugly, green, furry being with a compulsion for breaking and entering, has relapsed. According to reps for … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged breaking and entering, compulsive behavior, Hanukkah, Hanukkah Harry, heist, Humor, Modern Philosophers, Santa Claus, Sarcasm, satire, The Grinch
11 Comments
Maine’s Enchanted Halloween Candy Is Actually Good For You!
The big announcement on Day 22 of the Maine Halloween Season Festival was that the Halloween candy revelers have been eating all month is actually good for them! That’s right, Modern Philosophers, not only is the candy that’s been passed … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged candy, diet, Halloween, health, Humor, Magic, Modern Philosophers, Sarcasm, satire, Witches
4 Comments
Friday the 13th Prequel, Thursday the 12th, To Focus On Wacky Camp Hijinks
Just as the Summer Movie Season is about the kick into high gear, upstart studio Reboot Pictures has announced that it has given the green light to its first project. The company has purchased the prequel rights to the popular … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Camp Crystal Lake, Friday the 13th, Humor, Jason, Modern Philosophers, prequel, Sarcasm, satire
9 Comments
Starbucks Pulls Thanksgiving Coffees After Multiple Complaints
Coffee giant Starbucks decided to pull its two new seasonal coffees after receiving numerous complaints about the items. “We thought it would be fun to come up with special Holiday offerings for our customers at Thanksgiving,” Starbucks spokesman Dirk Benedict … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged cofee, feast, Humor, leftovers, Modern Philosophers, Sarcasm, satire, Thanksgiving, Turkey
42 Comments
President Obama Announces New Anti-Racism Initiative: “Time To Repaint The White House!”
President Obama stunned the White House Press Corps today when he made a surprise announcement about his new idea for fighting racism. “As you know, I have already made amazing strides against racism in our country by becoming the first … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics
Tagged Humor, Modern Philosophers, Paint the White House, President Obama, satire, White House
51 Comments
Jeff Probst Re-Tweeted My Fake Survivor Post!
I was trying to figure out why my blog was suddenly getting so many hits from Twitter. Just as The Girl Who Tweets figured out the answer, Bev Vincent posted this on the comment section for the Survivor: Maine post…Yes, … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Humor, Jeff Probst, Modern Philosophers, satire, Survivor, Survivor Filming in Maine, Survivor: Maine, TV
64 Comments
Tuesday, Having Long Been Tormented For Its Heftiness, Gets Its Annual Day In The Sun
Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of Lent. That means that today is Mardi Gras aka Fat Tuesday. This is the one day out of 365 (366 if it’s a leap year) that Tuesday gets a little respect … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Fat Tuesday, Humor, Lent, Mardi Gras, Modern Philosophers, satire
14 Comments
8, Tired of Looking Like a Snowman, Petitions for Plastic Surgery
Some interesting news from the World of Numbers…8 aka Eight, today appeared before the Number Line and officially petitioned for a new look. While it is a highly unusual move, seeing as how numbers are iconic figures that have been … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged 8, Humor, Modern Philosophers, number line, numbers, satire
43 Comments