Tag Archives: Modern Philosophers

America Stops Looking For Marco (Polo!)

Posted on March 16, 2016 by Austin

The American electorate has finally decided to get out of the pool, Modern Philosophers. Alas, our boring game of Marco (Polo!) has come to a merciful end.  A month and a half after his epic third place finish in the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The Grinch Says 8 Days Of Hanukkah Are Just Too Tempting

Posted on December 7, 2014 by Austin

Please keep an old friend in your thoughts and prayers this Holiday Season, Modern Philosophers. It turns out that The Grinch, that big, ugly, green, furry being with a compulsion for breaking and entering, has relapsed. According to reps for … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Maine’s Enchanted Halloween Candy Is Actually Good For You!

Posted on October 22, 2014 by Austin

The big announcement on Day 22 of the Maine Halloween Season Festival was that the Halloween candy revelers have been eating all month is actually good for them! That’s right, Modern Philosophers, not only is the candy that’s been passed … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Friday the 13th Prequel, Thursday the 12th, To Focus On Wacky Camp Hijinks

Posted on June 12, 2014 by Austin

Just as the Summer Movie Season is about the kick into high gear, upstart studio Reboot Pictures has announced that it has given the green light to its first project. The company has purchased the prequel rights to the popular … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Starbucks Pulls Thanksgiving Coffees After Multiple Complaints

Posted on November 22, 2013 by Austin

Coffee giant Starbucks decided to pull its two new seasonal coffees after receiving numerous complaints about the items. “We thought it would be fun to come up with special Holiday offerings for our customers at Thanksgiving,” Starbucks spokesman Dirk Benedict … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 42 Comments

President Obama Announces New Anti-Racism Initiative: “Time To Repaint The White House!”

Posted on March 5, 2013 by Austin

President Obama stunned the White House Press Corps today when he made a surprise announcement about his new idea for fighting racism.  “As you know, I have already made amazing strides against racism in our country by becoming the first … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , | 51 Comments

Bangor City Council Denies Dr. Frankenstein’s Request To Build His New Lab Next To All Soul’s Cemetery

Posted on March 4, 2013 by Austin

The Bangor City Council today voted unanimously to deny Dr. Victor Frankenstein’s request to build his new state of the art laboratory on the abandoned lot next to All Soul’s Cemetery.  The lot, which has long sat empty, has been … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 47 Comments

The Flash Hospitalized With The Runs; Embarrassed Superhero Chuckles At The Irony

Posted on March 2, 2013 by Austin

The nasty flu bug that’s been scampering around Maine has even managed to catch up with the fastest man alive.  The Flash was admitted to Eastern Maine Medical Center today after a desperate 911 call stating that he was too … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , | 30 Comments

The Library: It’s Not Just For Books

Posted on February 27, 2013 by Austin

I really need to start going to the library more (The Girl Who Shares My Inside Jokes is giggling loudly right now, but just ignore her).  The Bangor Public Library, depicted in the photo at the left, is an amazing … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , | 25 Comments

Ben Affleck To Star In Kevin Smith’s Chasing Amy Sequel, Chasing Oscar

Posted on February 24, 2013 by Austin

I am a huge Kevin Smith fan, so this Modern Philosopher was very excited to hear that Kevin Smith has decided to make a sequel to his beloved flick, Chasing Amy.  Ben Affleck has agreed to reprise his role of … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments