Tag Archives: Monsters

Halloween Horror Panel Selects Humans As Scariest Beings

The much anticipated Halloween Horror Panel was held at the Cross Insurance Center in Bangor today. A packed house gathered for what is referred to as the “Comic-Con of Halloween”.  Sponsored by the All Hallows Society, the Horror Panel is … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Sigmund the Sea Monster Petitions Marine Biologists to be Reclassified as a Sea Creature

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
Sigmund the Sea Monster, famous for the 1970s Saturday morning TV show loosely based upon his life, has petitioned the American Board of Marine Biologists to be reclassified as a Sea…

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I Advise You That We Can All Just Get Along

Dear Modern Philosopher, I wanted to congratulate you on the furry new additions to your family.  I’m a cat person myself, and it warms my heart anytime I hear about someone opening his life to pets who need a home.  … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Jump Start Your Brain: Vampires or Zombies?

Happy Saturday, Modern Philosophers! I am up early so that I can enjoy as much of my first full day of vacation as possible.  I also have something exciting planned for the morning, but I don’t want to mention it … Continue reading

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Monsters Under The Bed Fleeing Maine At An Alarming Rate

Have you checked under your beds lately, Modern Philosophers? If you live in Maine, there’s an excellent chance you will discover that the Monster Under Your Bed has packed up and left for New Hampshire. According to the Bureau of … Continue reading

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I Advise You To Buy A Bunk Bed

Dear Modern Philosopher, Your courage in writing about your phobias has inspired me to write to you to ask for help with facing one of mine. I am 33 years old, live by myself, and have been having some serious … Continue reading

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Young Mainers Haunted By The Booger Man, The Monster In Their Nose

The CDC has issued a warning to all Mainers about an evil strain of the flu that is spreading across the state at a rapid pace.  This malady, which seems to affect only those under the age of 13, exhibits … Continue reading

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Modern Philosopher Mailbag: Milestones, Monsters, and Merriment

I’m bored, so let’s randomly pick another letter from the mailbag to answer… Dear Modern Philosopher, I recently noticed that you posted your 500th article.  Congratulations!  That’s a lot of Deep Thoughts in 8 months.  I do enjoy your blog … Continue reading

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Maine’s Adopt-A-Monster Drive Needs Your Help!

One day after celebrating its record setting year, Maine Monster Control announced an ambitious and exciting plan to help find new homes for Monsters left homeless because of the recent rough economy and crash of the housing market. The creatures … Continue reading

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Adventures in Paranormal Babysitting

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
No one will ever mistake me for Elisabeth Shue, but on occasion I will re-open the Modern Philosopher Babysitting/House Sitting Service for the right customer.  I get along fairly well with…

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