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Tag Archives: Monsters
Monsters Love Hawaiian Shirts
Every once in a while, Modern Philosophers, I think it helps to time travel back to my childhood so you better understand how a lonely, nerdy kid with an overactive imagination grew up to be me. Today, we journey back … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged childhood, fantasy, fashion, Hawaiian shirts, Humor, imagination, Modern Philosopher, Monsters, Sarcasm, satire
10 Comments
Halloween Horror Panel Selects Humans As Scariest Beings
The much anticipated Halloween Horror Panel was held at the Cross Insurance Center in Bangor today. A packed house gathered for what is referred to as the “Comic-Con of Halloween”. Sponsored by the All Hallows Society, the Horror Panel is … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Creatures, Halloween, Haunted House, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Monsters, nightmares, Sarcasm, satire, scary
18 Comments
Sigmund the Sea Monster Petitions Marine Biologists to be Reclassified as a Sea Creature
Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
Sigmund the Sea Monster, famous for the 1970s Saturday morning TV show loosely based upon his life, has petitioned the American Board of Marine Biologists to be reclassified as a Sea…
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Humor, marine biology, Modern Philosopher, Monsters, Sarcasm, satire, Sigmund the Sea Monster, TV
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I Advise You That We Can All Just Get Along
Dear Modern Philosopher, I wanted to congratulate you on the furry new additions to your family. I’m a cat person myself, and it warms my heart anytime I hear about someone opening his life to pets who need a home. … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy
Tagged advice, cats, Diversity, getting along, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Monsters, Peace, Sarcasm, satire
15 Comments
Monsters Under The Bed Fleeing Maine At An Alarming Rate
Have you checked under your beds lately, Modern Philosophers? If you live in Maine, there’s an excellent chance you will discover that the Monster Under Your Bed has packed up and left for New Hampshire. According to the Bureau of … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged All Hallows Society, Humor, Maine, Modern Philosopher, Monsters, Otherworldly Beings, Sarcasm, satire, scary
18 Comments
Young Mainers Haunted By The Booger Man, The Monster In Their Nose
The CDC has issued a warning to all Mainers about an evil strain of the flu that is spreading across the state at a rapid pace. This malady, which seems to affect only those under the age of 13, exhibits … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Booger Man, Flu, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Monsters, nightmares, satire, scary, sickness
22 Comments
Modern Philosopher Mailbag: Milestones, Monsters, and Merriment
I’m bored, so let’s randomly pick another letter from the mailbag to answer… Dear Modern Philosopher, I recently noticed that you posted your 500th article. Congratulations! That’s a lot of Deep Thoughts in 8 months. I do enjoy your blog … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged 500, advice column, blogs, Humor, milestones, Modern Philosopher, Monsters, Santa Claus, satire
12 Comments
Maine’s Adopt-A-Monster Drive Needs Your Help!
One day after celebrating its record setting year, Maine Monster Control announced an ambitious and exciting plan to help find new homes for Monsters left homeless because of the recent rough economy and crash of the housing market. The creatures … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged adoption, Humor, Maine, Modern Philosopher, Monster under the bed, Monsters, satire
35 Comments
Adventures in Paranormal Babysitting
Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
No one will ever mistake me for Elisabeth Shue, but on occasion I will re-open the Modern Philosopher Babysitting/House Sitting Service for the right customer. I get along fairly well with…
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Babysitting, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Monsters, neighbors, satire
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Maine Monster Control Celebrates Record Setting Year
Maine Monster Control celebrated a record setting year by holding a lavish party at the Bangor Hilton. The MMC, which is tasked with dealing with complaints by humans against monsters, had to respond to a record low number of calls … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged demons, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Monsters, satire, scary, social workers, Zombies
7 Comments