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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: mowing the lawn
Mow It Like You Own It
“I meant to compliment you on your lovely dandelion garden,” Holly quipped as she squinted out at the river. “I drove past your house the other day, and the your front lawn was simply exploding with color from all those … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged best friends, flash fiction, Humor, Modern Philosopher, mowing the lawn, Relationships, Sarcasm, satire, short story
11 Comments
The Landscaping Hunger Games
There’s a reason they never arm the writers in movies, Modern Philosophers. They just let them believe that whole “The pen is mightier than the sword!” idea so that writers don’t go out on the battlefield and injure themselves and … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged Humor, Hunger Games, landscaping, Modern Philosopher, mowing the lawn, running, Sarcasm, satire
4 Comments
The Thoughtlessness Of Grass
A friend asked what I was doing this weekend, Modern Philosophers, and I rambled off a few random, but relaxing things. Then I added that since the grass refuses to stop growing, I really should mow the lawn. That got … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged gardening, Humor, lawn care, life, Modern Philosopher, mowing the lawn, Sarcasm, satire, social obligations
4 Comments
Why Don’t You Go Mow Yourself?
Now that we’ve finally put away the snow shovels, it was only a matter of time before we rolled out the lawnmowers, Modern Philosophers. That annual right of Spring happened tonight at The House on the Hill. I managed to … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged Humor, landscaping, Modern Philosopher, mowing the lawn, right of Spring, sarcasm, satire, signs of Spring, winter is over, yard work
14 Comments
Losing Mow-Mentum
Have you ever had one of those days, Modern Philosophers, where you know you did an extraordinary amount of work, yet you feel like you’ve accomplished absolutely nothing? That was how today went for me. Once again, I arrived at … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love
Tagged accomplishments, distractions, Humor, Modern Philosopher, mowing the lawn, overtime, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, screenwriting, work
7 Comments
To Hell With Mowing The Lawn
“I think mankind has made a ridiculous waste of free will,” The Devil declared as he handed me a Snapple from the cooler and then took one for himself. We were sitting on the front porch of The House on … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Writing
Tagged fiction, free will, hell, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, mowing the lawn, sarcasm, satire, short story, The Devil
6 Comments
Is This Enough Labor To Properly Celebrate Labor Day?
I almost couldn’t (wouldn’t) get out of bed this morning, Modern Philosophers. When I checked my phone, it said it was a chilly 54 degrees. So, without any Deep Thought needed, I decided that staying under the warm covers was … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged bamboo, Humor, Labor Day, life, Modern Philosopher, mowing the lawn, running, Sarcasm, satire, triathlon, yard work
23 Comments
The Sweaty Dog Days Of August Have Arrived!
Can you believe it’s already August, Modern Philosophers? That incessant barking that kept waking you up all morning was from the Dog Days of August. They have arrived, and you need to Jump Start Your Summer before all that’s left … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged August, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, mowing the lawn, running, Sarcasm, satire, Shopping, Summer, Walmart
19 Comments
You Never Forget Your First Mow Job
I have been putting off mowing the lawn for as long as possible, Modern Philosophers, because once you give in to the task, you become the grass’ bitch. That’s the law of the land, baby. If you want to live … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged allergies, chores, grass, Humor, lawn mower, Modern Philosopher, mowing the lawn, photos, Sarcasm, satire, Spring
23 Comments
New Maine Law Allows Gargoyle Attacks On Noisy Neighbors
Happy Sunday, Modern Philosophers! Care to guess how I know it’s Sunday? I know because that’s the day of the week I’m awakened at 8AM by the guy next door mowing the lawn! I guess I should be grateful that … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Gargoyles, Humor, Modern Philosopher, mowing the lawn, neighbors, satire, Stephen King, Sunday
37 Comments