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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: neighbors
Finding The True Meaning Of Christmas
I probably sounded like a spoiled brat in my earlier post, Modern Philosophers, whining about not getting any Christmas presents, but it has been a rough year and I really hoped Santa Claus would bring me something. The day was … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas, Humor
Tagged Christmas, Christmas Blizzard, Humor, Maine, Modern Philosopher, neighbors, sarcasm, satire, true meaning of Christmas, White Christmas
15 Comments
I Advise You To Seek Help If It Lasts More Than Four Hours
Dear Modern Philosopher, I’ve been waking up every morning with a problem that’s very hard on me. Usually, my morning would be a time I’d slowly ease myself into my day, but now I feel like I’m being thrust into … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged advice, double entendre, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, neighbors, noise complaints, Sarcasm, satire
14 Comments
Honey, Do You Have The Plow Guy’s Number?
Just a quick post this morning, Modern Philosophers, as this one was too silly not to share. I was up at the butt crack of dawn to clear the driveway in the wake of Winter Storm Linus. Luckily, Mark was … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Blizzard, Humor, Maine, Modern Philosopher, neighbors, photos, Sarcasm, satire, snow plow, snow removal, Winter Storm Linus
32 Comments
I Resolve To Shovel Less Snow In 2015!
As you can see from the photo on the left, Modern Philosophers, I was very serious when I resolved to shovel less snow in 2015. Okay, I look more like I’m trying to keep my mouth closed so I don’t … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Humor, Modern Philosopher, neighbors, New Year's Resolutions, photography, Sarcasm, satire, shoveling, snow, winter
13 Comments
The House On The Hill Is Under Attack!
I’m usually a big fan of both my neighbors and fireworks, Modern Philosophers, but last night was the exception. The House on the Hill has been unusually quiet without Banky, and last night, I was sitting in the living room … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged AT AT attack, fireworks, Humor, Modern Philosopher, neighbors, police, quiet, Sarcasm, satire, Star Wars
30 Comments
I Advise You To Get Your Head Out Of Your Read End Storage Facility
Dear Modern Philosopher, You always talk about being a Hopeless Romantic, so I was hoping you could help me out with an affair of the heart. I am hopelessly in love with my neighbor. We see each other every day, … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy
Tagged advice, Humor, Love, Modern Philosopher, neighbors, Sarcasm, satire, stupid
12 Comments
Shark Infestation Panics Sleepy Maine Town
Cratchit’s Cove, a tiny hamlet that juts out into the Atlantic Ocean, is generally packed with tourists this time of year. The money brought in during tourist season helps keep the Cove’s residents warm and well fed during the harsh … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Humor, Maine, Modern Philosopher, neighbors, Sarcasm, satire, sharks, Summer
8 Comments
New Maine Law Allows Gargoyle Attacks On Noisy Neighbors
Happy Sunday, Modern Philosophers! Care to guess how I know it’s Sunday? I know because that’s the day of the week I’m awakened at 8AM by the guy next door mowing the lawn! I guess I should be grateful that … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Gargoyles, Humor, Modern Philosopher, mowing the lawn, neighbors, satire, Stephen King, Sunday
37 Comments
Adventures in Paranormal Babysitting
Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
No one will ever mistake me for Elisabeth Shue, but on occasion I will re-open the Modern Philosopher Babysitting/House Sitting Service for the right customer. I get along fairly well with…
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Babysitting, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Monsters, neighbors, satire
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