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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: New Year’s Day
The Resolute Bench
“Happy New Year!” Holly declared as he plopped down on the bench next to Aaron and immediately chugged half of her coffee. It was New Year’s Day and the best friend were seated on their favorite bench next to the … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged best friends, flash fiction, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Resolutions, Sarcasm, satire, short story
5 Comments
New Year, Same Crappy World
Aaron sipped his Snapple and stared out at the river. It was frozen in many places, but where the ice didn’t cover the surface, the water level rose dangerously close to the running path that snaked along the river’s edge. … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged best friends, flash fiction, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, Relationships, Sarcasm, satire, short story
7 Comments
Don’t Put So Much Pressure On 2021
Happy New Year, Modern Philosophers! I wanted to kick off 2021 by getting one of my contractually obligated philosophical posts out of the way. Before we go too deep down the rabbit hole of how 2021 needs to be better … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged expectations, Happy New Year, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Resolutions, Sarcasm, satire
8 Comments
No More Resolutions
Aaron waited until Holly pulled down her mask and sipped her coffee before he broke the silence. “Before you ask, I will not be participating in whatever ridiculous shenanigans you have planned for New Year’s Eve.” He lowered his mask, … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged coronavirus, flash fiction, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Resolutions, sarcasm, satire, short story, social distancing
5 Comments
Shoveling In The New Year
Happy New Year, Modern Philosophers! Regular readers of this blog know that I don’t make a fuss about New Year’s resolutions, or believe that hanging a new calendar means we get a fresh start. Speaking of new calendars, though, I … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged Christmas vacation, Happy New Year, Humor, Life in Maine, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Resolutions, sarcasm, satire, shoveling snow
25 Comments
2018: A Year Not To Review
New Year’s Day is just around the corner, Modern Philosophers, so I thought I’d do one of those Year in Review posts to sum up the year that was 2018. But then I quickly realized that 2018 wasn’t exactly a … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged achievements, finding the silver lining, Happy New Year, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, pet adoption, sarcasm, satire, year in review
21 Comments
My New Year’s Fight Club Resolution
Everyone knows the first rule of Fight Club, Modern Philosophers. I don’t want to get anyone into trouble, so we won’t discuss it any further. However, I’m wondering why that same rule shouldn’t be used for New Year’s resolutions. After … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged Fight Club, Happy New Year, Humor, Modern Philosopher, motivation, New Year's Day, New Year's Resolutions, personal goals, sarcasm, satire
6 Comments
2017 Promises Not To Suck
In a hastily called news conference just hours before the Times Square ball drop, Father Time promised that 2017 will not suck like 2016 did, Modern Philosophers. “I resolve that the @#$% stops with me, and Baby New Year will … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged Baby New Year, Donald Trump, Father Time, Happy New Year, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Eve, New Year's Resolutions, sarcasm, satire
10 Comments
Father Time Stuns World By Signing One Year Extension
In a stunning development, Father Time announced today that he has signed a one year contract extension, Modern Philosophers. While the terms of this unprecedented deal were not immediately disclosed, it is definitely the biggest move of the free agent … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Baby New Year, contracts, Father Time, free agency, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Eve, sarcasm, satire, Times Square Ball Drop
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New Year’s Resolutions Are Hell
“Thanks again for your help today,” I said with a wink as I slapped my guest on the leg. The Devil looked up from the Sunday paper and raised an eyebrow. “I have no idea what you mean.” The Devilish … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Writing
Tagged fiction, Football, Humor, Jets, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Resolutions, sarcasm, satire, short story, The Devil
10 Comments