Tag Archives: New Year’s Eve

Go Away, 2017

Posted on December 31, 2017 by Austin

I’m not one To stay up Until midnight To toast The arrival Of the New Year. There is no Special someone Waiting excitedly For a New Year’s kiss. Most likely, I will be Sound asleep When the Earth completes Yet … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Devil’s Ball Drop

Posted on December 31, 2017 by Austin

“Have you made any New Year’s resolutions?” The Devil asked as he poured my Snapple into a fancy champagne flute. My New Year’s Eve guest had eschewed his usual impeccably tailored suit for a sharp tuxedo that made him look … Continue reading →

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Snow Miser’s Frigid Kiss

Posted on December 27, 2017 by Austin

As memories Of Christmas fade, And another year Nears its Inevitable end, My thoughts drift To New Year’s Eve, And how nice It would be To have someone To kiss At midnight. It has been Too long Since I’ve done … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

2017 Promises Not To Suck

Posted on December 31, 2016 by Austin

In a hastily called news conference just hours before the Times Square ball drop, Father Time promised that 2017 will not suck like 2016 did, Modern Philosophers. “I resolve that the @#$% stops with me, and Baby New Year will … Continue reading →

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A Fishbowl Of Confetti, Confusion, And Greed

Posted on January 3, 2016 by Austin

“I don’t know why you ever left New York,” The Devil declared as he strode across the living room with a large tray of his famous Hellfire Wings in tow.  “I spent New Year’s Eve there, and if not for … Continue reading →

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Why You Shouldn’t Make Any New Year’s Resolutions

Posted on December 31, 2015 by Austin

Happy New Year’s Eve, Modern Philosophers. This is always a very quiet Holiday at The House on the Hill.  I’m not a “big drinker, let’s go out and make some noise, dance in the New Year” kind of guy. I’m … Continue reading →

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Times Square To Drop Jeb Bush Instead Of Ball On New Year’s Eve

Posted on December 30, 2015 by Austin

In what many see as a last ditch effort to win the attention of American voters, Jeb Bush has arranged to become the centerpiece of the traditional New Year’s Eve Ball Drop in Times Square, Modern Philosophers. The giant lighted … Continue reading →

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Father Time Stuns World By Signing One Year Extension

Posted on December 28, 2015 by Austin

In a stunning development, Father Time announced today that he has signed a one year contract extension, Modern Philosophers. While the terms of this unprecedented deal were not immediately disclosed, it is definitely the biggest move of the free agent … Continue reading →

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The Devil’s Review Of Hell On Earth

Posted on January 1, 2015 by Austin

“The whole reason I come up here is to get some time away from Hell,” The Devil whined as he plopped down onto the couch next to me. In his hand, he held the bag of Humpty Dumpty BBQ Chips … Continue reading →

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The All Hallows Society Named This Blog’s 2014 Beings Of The Year!

Posted on December 31, 2014 by Austin

Happy New Year’s Eve, Modern Philosophers! I am thrilled to announce that the All Hallows Society, Maine’s all powerful and ultra top secret commission that watches over Otherworldly Beings, has been named this blog’s 2014 Beings of the Year! The … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments