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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: New Year’s Eve
Go Away, 2017
I’m not one To stay up Until midnight To toast The arrival Of the New Year. There is no Special someone Waiting excitedly For a New Year’s kiss. Most likely, I will be Sound asleep When the Earth completes Yet … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Poetry
Tagged Happy New Year, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Eve, New Year's toast, poem, sarcasm, satire
4 Comments
The Devil’s Ball Drop
“Have you made any New Year’s resolutions?” The Devil asked as he poured my Snapple into a fancy champagne flute. My New Year’s Eve guest had eschewed his usual impeccably tailored suit for a sharp tuxedo that made him look … Continue reading
Snow Miser’s Frigid Kiss
As memories Of Christmas fade, And another year Nears its Inevitable end, My thoughts drift To New Year’s Eve, And how nice It would be To have someone To kiss At midnight. It has been Too long Since I’ve done … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged Arctic blast, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Eve, New Year's kiss, poem, sarcasm, satire, Snow Miser, Subzero Temperatures, winter in Maine
4 Comments
2017 Promises Not To Suck
In a hastily called news conference just hours before the Times Square ball drop, Father Time promised that 2017 will not suck like 2016 did, Modern Philosophers. “I resolve that the @#$% stops with me, and Baby New Year will … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged Baby New Year, Donald Trump, Father Time, Happy New Year, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Eve, New Year's Resolutions, sarcasm, satire
10 Comments
A Fishbowl Of Confetti, Confusion, And Greed
“I don’t know why you ever left New York,” The Devil declared as he strode across the living room with a large tray of his famous Hellfire Wings in tow. “I spent New Year’s Eve there, and if not for … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Politics, Writing
Tagged fiction, hell, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Eve, Politics, sarcasm, satire, short story, The Devil, Times Square
5 Comments
Times Square To Drop Jeb Bush Instead Of Ball On New Year’s Eve
In what many see as a last ditch effort to win the attention of American voters, Jeb Bush has arranged to become the centerpiece of the traditional New Year’s Eve Ball Drop in Times Square, Modern Philosophers. The giant lighted … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Politics
Tagged ball drop, Donald Trump, Humor, Jeb Bush, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Eve, New York City, Politics, sarcasm, satire, Times Square
2 Comments
Father Time Stuns World By Signing One Year Extension
In a stunning development, Father Time announced today that he has signed a one year contract extension, Modern Philosophers. While the terms of this unprecedented deal were not immediately disclosed, it is definitely the biggest move of the free agent … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Baby New Year, contracts, Father Time, free agency, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Eve, sarcasm, satire, Times Square Ball Drop
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The Devil’s Review Of Hell On Earth
“The whole reason I come up here is to get some time away from Hell,” The Devil whined as he plopped down onto the couch next to me. In his hand, he held the bag of Humpty Dumpty BBQ Chips … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged ball drop, hell, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Eve, New York, Sarcasm, satire, short story, The Devil, Times Square
15 Comments
The All Hallows Society Named This Blog’s 2014 Beings Of The Year!
Happy New Year’s Eve, Modern Philosophers! I am thrilled to announce that the All Hallows Society, Maine’s all powerful and ultra top secret commission that watches over Otherworldly Beings, has been named this blog’s 2014 Beings of the Year! The … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged All Hallows Society, Being of the Year, Blog, Happy New Year, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Eve, Pope Francis, Sarcasm, satire, Zeus
6 Comments