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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: New Year’s Resolutions
Don’t Put So Much Pressure On 2021
Happy New Year, Modern Philosophers! I wanted to kick off 2021 by getting one of my contractually obligated philosophical posts out of the way. Before we go too deep down the rabbit hole of how 2021 needs to be better … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged expectations, Happy New Year, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Resolutions, Sarcasm, satire
8 Comments
No More Resolutions
Aaron waited until Holly pulled down her mask and sipped her coffee before he broke the silence. “Before you ask, I will not be participating in whatever ridiculous shenanigans you have planned for New Year’s Eve.” He lowered his mask, … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged coronavirus, flash fiction, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Resolutions, sarcasm, satire, short story, social distancing
5 Comments
Shoveling In The New Year
Happy New Year, Modern Philosophers! Regular readers of this blog know that I don’t make a fuss about New Year’s resolutions, or believe that hanging a new calendar means we get a fresh start. Speaking of new calendars, though, I … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged Christmas vacation, Happy New Year, Humor, Life in Maine, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Resolutions, sarcasm, satire, shoveling snow
25 Comments
My New Year’s Fight Club Resolution
Everyone knows the first rule of Fight Club, Modern Philosophers. I don’t want to get anyone into trouble, so we won’t discuss it any further. However, I’m wondering why that same rule shouldn’t be used for New Year’s resolutions. After … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged Fight Club, Happy New Year, Humor, Modern Philosopher, motivation, New Year's Day, New Year's Resolutions, personal goals, sarcasm, satire
6 Comments
2018: A New Hope
I love the philosophy that a new year symbolizes a new start, Modern Philosophers. It gives people hope. It allows them to believe that they are facing the year with a clean slate, and anything can happen. I’m all for … Continue reading
The Devil’s Ball Drop
“Have you made any New Year’s resolutions?” The Devil asked as he poured my Snapple into a fancy champagne flute. My New Year’s Eve guest had eschewed his usual impeccably tailored suit for a sharp tuxedo that made him look … Continue reading
2017 Promises Not To Suck
In a hastily called news conference just hours before the Times Square ball drop, Father Time promised that 2017 will not suck like 2016 did, Modern Philosophers. “I resolve that the @#$% stops with me, and Baby New Year will … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged Baby New Year, Donald Trump, Father Time, Happy New Year, Humor, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Eve, New Year's Resolutions, sarcasm, satire
10 Comments
New Year’s Resolutions Are Hell
“Thanks again for your help today,” I said with a wink as I slapped my guest on the leg. The Devil looked up from the Sunday paper and raised an eyebrow. “I have no idea what you mean.” The Devilish … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Writing
Tagged fiction, Football, Humor, Jets, Modern Philosopher, New Year's Day, New Year's Resolutions, sarcasm, satire, short story, The Devil
10 Comments
I Resolve To Shovel Less Snow In 2015!
As you can see from the photo on the left, Modern Philosophers, I was very serious when I resolved to shovel less snow in 2015. Okay, I look more like I’m trying to keep my mouth closed so I don’t … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
Tagged Humor, Modern Philosopher, neighbors, New Year's Resolutions, photography, Sarcasm, satire, shoveling, snow, winter
13 Comments