Tag Archives: News

Why We Need Stricter Water Gun Control Laws

Posted on January 7, 2016 by Austin

“Water guns don’t kill people, but people do drown.”  — Anonymous I try not to get political on this blog, Modern Philosophers, unless it’s to mock politicians. Every once in a while, though, a hot button topic comes up that … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

What If The Vogons Were Right?

Posted on August 27, 2015 by Austin

I try to never get too preachy on this blog, Modern Philosophers, but sometimes, the pursuit of Deep Thoughts takes me in that direction. I am not always pleased with our behavior as a species, and yesterday was one of … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Would Trump Banish Maine’s Aliens To Deep Space?

Posted on July 27, 2015 by Austin

I was invited for Sunday Brunch aboard the Glovorkian Mothership that hovers high above Bangor, Modern Philosophers. While this was not my first meal aboard the mighty spacecraft that is the jewel of the Glovorkian Fleet, I got the sense … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

A Reminder About The Serious Side Of Winter

Posted on February 25, 2015 by Austin

I will always be the first in line, Modern Philosophers, to use humor as a weapon against anything in life that causes stress, pain, sadness, and anything negative. I definitely believe that laughter is the best medicine, and while I … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Is “Big Candy” Blocking The Sale Of Zero Calorie Valentine’s Chocolate?

Posted on February 9, 2015 by Austin

Is Big Candy blocking the sale of a revolutionary, new zero calorie chocolate less than a week before Valentine’s Day, Modern Philosophers? According to an anonymous tipster, who called The House on the Hill after reading Saturday’s investigative report on … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

Thanksgiving Seeks Injunction To Ban Christmas Ads Until Black Friday

Posted on November 22, 2014 by Austin

Thanksgiving filed an injunction today in Bangor Superior Court, Modern Philosophers, to block all Christmas advertising until Black Friday, otherwise known as the day after Thanksgiving. The request seeks that Christmas commercials, advertisements and the like be banned in all … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Gravy Train Derails On Way To Maine; Dry Thanksgiving Expected

Posted on November 18, 2014 by Austin

The New Hampshire Transportation Authority has confirmed that a Gravy Train bound for Maine derailed this evening about 15 miles from the state line. While no one was killed in the accident, several crew members were injured and rushed to … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

President Obama Loses Washington Monument To Pope Francis In Game Of HORSE

Posted on March 27, 2014 by Austin

It looks like the American landscape will literally be changing after President Obama’s historic first meeting with Pope Francis, Modern Philosophers. Pope Francis, this blog’s 2013 Being of the Year and my good friend, called The House on the Hill … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Turkeys Seek Asylum At The House On The Hill

Posted on November 6, 2013 by Austin

It was a crisp Autumn day in Maine, Modern Philosophers, and I was still running on the fumes of my Election Day voting high when I got a big dose of reality… Thanksgiving was on the horizon. How do I … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

Mainers Vote To Make Magic State’s Official Second Language

Posted on November 5, 2013 by Austin

Otherworldly Beings in Maine turned out in record numbers today on what pundits had thought would be a quiet Election Day. However, Proposition 13, the bill to make Magic Maine’s official Second Language, brought out the Witches, Vampires, Aliens, Gargoyles, … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments