Tag Archives: News

Mainers Vote To Make Magic State’s Official Second Language

Otherworldly Beings in Maine turned out in record numbers today on what pundits had thought would be a quiet Election Day. However, Proposition 13, the bill to make Magic Maine’s official Second Language, brought out the Witches, Vampires, Aliens, Gargoyles, … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Governor LePage Spends Election Day Practicing Next Year’s Concession Speech

I just came home from voting, Modern Philosophers!  I wrote my name in for every race listed on the ballot.  I really think I have a shot at being named to the School Board as voter turnout was low.  Fingers … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Pope Francis Announces Weekly Vatican Spelling Bees After Coin Fiasco

Pope Francis today announced that he will be holding weekly spelling bees at The Vatican in the wake of the recent “Lesus Coin Fiasco”. “Heavens, it was most embarrassing, Austin,” The Holy Father told this Modern Philosopher.  “That’s e-m-b-a-r-r-a-s-s-i-n-g, in … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Bangor Witches Burned A Steak; Misread Tweet Angers & Horrifies Many

I thought it was going to be a slow news day, Modern Philosophers, so when I heard fire engines nearby, I decided to investigate.  I had nothing to write about for the blog, and I figured a piece about the … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Vice President Accidentally Tweets Nuke Codes; Luckily No One Follows Him

The White House had a lot of explaining to do, Modern Philosophers, after Vice President Joe Biden accidentally tweeted Top Secret nuclear launch codes earlier this afternoon. Luckily, all of Biden’s Twitter followers are fake accounts set up by White … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

Easter Bunny Needs To Bail Out Maine Farmers Arrested For Growing His “Special Grass”

The Easter Bunny had to make an unscheduled stop in Maine today to post bail for a half dozen farmers who grow and harvest the special grass he uses in Easter Baskets.  Out of respect for the farmers, and because … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments