Tag Archives: NFL

Rooting For The Jets Is Hell

I turned off the TV in disgust after suffering through yet another loss by my beloved, but pathetic Jets. The Devil snickered from behind the Sunday paper, so I glared over at him and called him on it. “Do you … Continue reading

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Vegas Sets Odds For The Name Of Patriots’ Next Scandal

Are you ready for some football, Modern Philosophers? The 2015 NFL Season kicks off tonight with a battle between the defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots and the Pittsburgh Steelers. We are just one week removed from the Patriots’ … Continue reading

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NFL Adopts Touch Football Rules To Limit Preseason Injuries

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell took time out from his vendetta against Tom Brady today to announce a rule change. “As of this moment, all preseason football games will be played with touch football rules,” Goodell announced to the stunned press … Continue reading

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NFL Suspends Tom Brady For Breaking Geno Smith’s Jaw

New England Patriots quarterback, and former NFL Golden Boy, Tom Brady was  suspended today for the remainder of the upcoming season for breaking the jaw of New York Jets quarterback Geno Smith. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell gleefully made the announcement … Continue reading

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I Advise You That Cheating Is Not Patriotic

Dear Modern Philosopher, Happy Super Bowl Sunday! I know you’re a Jets fan, but I hope you are still able to enjoy the day.  There’s still a big game to watch, plenty of cool commercials, and it’s a great excuse … Continue reading

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Rex Ryan Channels Poe To Inspire Jets For Game Against Ravens

Flamboyant NY Jets Head Coach Rex Ryan, looking to get his team back on track after a blowout loss last Sunday in Buffalo, has once again taken extreme measures to pump up his team for today’s game versus the Baltimore … Continue reading

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Satan Gives Jets Pep Talk Before Showdown With Saints

Rex Ryan is pulling out the big guns for the Jets’ big showdown today with the New Orleans Saints. Team sources have confirmed that The Devil was brought in to give Gang Green a rousing pep talk before they took … Continue reading

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Geno Smith Boldly Predicts: “The Jets Will Play Today”

He’s certainly no Joe Namath, Modern Philosophers.  At least not when it comes to making bold and brash pregame statements. NY Jets’ rookie quarterback Geno Smith called this Modern Philosopher (and diehard Jets fan) before the first regular season start … Continue reading

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NY Jets, Desperate To Ditch Tim Tebow, Tell Him He’s Been Traded To New Franchise In Maine

In honor of Tim Tebow’s being released by the Jets today, I thought I’d repost this one. Good luck, Tim!

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