Tag Archives: North Pole

More Reindeer Games? Donner Files to Legally Change Name

Posted on December 2, 2014 by Austin

There was Dasher and Dasher and Prancer and Vixen.  Comet and Cupid and… Tony???? Get ready to relearn the names of Santa’s reindeer, Modern Philosophers, because Donner has gone to court to legally change his name.  The papers were filed … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 93 Comments

North Pole Denies Closings Are Due To Ebola Scare

Posted on December 1, 2014 by Austin

Despite what you might have heard, Modern Philosophers, there is no Ebola scare at The North Pole. While it is true that The North Pole Police Department has closed all entry points to Santa’s home, the Ebola rumors rocketing around … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Snow Miser Asks Santa Claus For A Bigger, Better Snow Maker

Posted on November 29, 2014 by Austin

Bad news from The North Pole, Modern Philosophers. My archenemy, Snow Miser, has written his annual letter to Santa Claus, and requested a bigger and better snow maker. “It was the Blizzard Maker 7000 to be exact, Austin,” Santa Claus … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

The Devil Offers A Warm Place In Hell For Anyone Tired Of Winter

Posted on January 25, 2014 by Austin

“I demand equal time!” snarled the angry voice from somewhere in the darkness. It is never enjoyable to be awakened from a deep sleep, Modern Philosophers, but it sucks even more when the disturbance is caused by The Prince of … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Santa Claus Invites All Mainers To Winter At The North Pole

Posted on January 24, 2014 by Austin

Everyone knows he sees you when you’re sleeping, and he knows when you’re awake, but were you aware that Santa Claus also sees you when you’re freezing, and he knows when you’re about to just give up because you’re fed … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Holiday Traffic Leaves Santa Stranded In Hawaii

Posted on December 26, 2013 by Austin

Aloha, Modern Philosophers! I’m writing to you, as always, from snowy, frigid Maine, but this post definitely has a Hawaiian flavor to it. I was minding my own business, watching The Godfather flicks at The House on the Hill, when … Continue reading →

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The Christmas Spirit Hitches A Ride On My Gargoyle

Posted on December 26, 2013 by Austin

The Christmas Spirit is still alive on December 26th, Modern Philosophers, but from the looks of things, he is on his last legs. I answered a knock on the door of The House on the Hill to find an old, … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Pope Turns Vatican Into North Pole For Jesus’ Birthday Bash

Posted on December 24, 2013 by Austin

Merry Christmas Eve, Modern Philosophers!  I am hitching a ride on an Alien Star Cruiser so that I can get to Vatican City in time for the festivities. The Partying Pontiff is at it again!  To celebrate his first Christmas … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Putting the Reindeer Robot Rumors to Bed

Posted on December 21, 2013 by Austin

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
Modern Philosophers, it’s been a long day and I’m about to hit the hay, but I can’t do so without addressing the panicked messages that have filled my inbox since I…

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Friday the 13th: Jason Takes The North Pole

Posted on December 13, 2013 by Austin

Happy Friday the 13th, Modern Philosophers! The Calendar Commission, having received multiple complaints about such a creepy day falling so close to the merriest day on the calendar, issued the following statement: “While the Calendar Commission is all powerful and … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments