Tag Archives: North Pole

More Reindeer Games? Donner Files to Legally Change Name

There was Dasher and Dasher and Prancer and Vixen.  Comet and Cupid and… Tony???? Get ready to relearn the names of Santa’s reindeer, Modern Philosophers, because Donner has gone to court to legally change his name.  The papers were filed … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 93 Comments

North Pole Denies Closings Are Due To Ebola Scare

Despite what you might have heard, Modern Philosophers, there is no Ebola scare at The North Pole. While it is true that The North Pole Police Department has closed all entry points to Santa’s home, the Ebola rumors rocketing around … Continue reading

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Snow Miser Asks Santa Claus For A Bigger, Better Snow Maker

Bad news from The North Pole, Modern Philosophers. My archenemy, Snow Miser, has written his annual letter to Santa Claus, and requested a bigger and better snow maker. “It was the Blizzard Maker 7000 to be exact, Austin,” Santa Claus … Continue reading

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The Devil Offers A Warm Place In Hell For Anyone Tired Of Winter

“I demand equal time!” snarled the angry voice from somewhere in the darkness. It is never enjoyable to be awakened from a deep sleep, Modern Philosophers, but it sucks even more when the disturbance is caused by The Prince of … Continue reading

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Santa Claus Invites All Mainers To Winter At The North Pole

Everyone knows he sees you when you’re sleeping, and he knows when you’re awake, but were you aware that Santa Claus also sees you when you’re freezing, and he knows when you’re about to just give up because you’re fed … Continue reading

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Holiday Traffic Leaves Santa Stranded In Hawaii

Aloha, Modern Philosophers! I’m writing to you, as always, from snowy, frigid Maine, but this post definitely has a Hawaiian flavor to it. I was minding my own business, watching The Godfather flicks at The House on the Hill, when … Continue reading

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The Christmas Spirit Hitches A Ride On My Gargoyle

The Christmas Spirit is still alive on December 26th, Modern Philosophers, but from the looks of things, he is on his last legs. I answered a knock on the door of The House on the Hill to find an old, … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Pope Turns Vatican Into North Pole For Jesus’ Birthday Bash

Merry Christmas Eve, Modern Philosophers!  I am hitching a ride on an Alien Star Cruiser so that I can get to Vatican City in time for the festivities. The Partying Pontiff is at it again!  To celebrate his first Christmas … Continue reading

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Putting the Reindeer Robot Rumors to Bed

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
Modern Philosophers, it’s been a long day and I’m about to hit the hay, but I can’t do so without addressing the panicked messages that have filled my inbox since I…

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Friday the 13th: Jason Takes The North Pole

Happy Friday the 13th, Modern Philosophers! The Calendar Commission, having received multiple complaints about such a creepy day falling so close to the merriest day on the calendar, issued the following statement: “While the Calendar Commission is all powerful and … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments