Tag Archives: Pilgrims

Thankful For What?

Posted on November 22, 2021 by Austin

This couple knocked on my door tonight. They were dressed as Pilgrims.  Full blown first Thanksgiving kind of garb.  The guy had a clipboard, the woman just offered a smile. I’d normally tell strangers to get the hell off my … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

What If The Pilgrims Had Run A 5K Instead?

Posted on November 18, 2017 by Austin

Far too many Americans are fat and out of shape, Modern Philosophers. Do you know who I blame for this? The Pilgrims. Those judgmental bastards with the horrible fashion sense could have ensured that this was a nation of healthy, … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Historians Blame The Pilgrims For America’s Obesity Problem

Posted on November 15, 2016 by Austin

It took almost four hundred years, Modern Philosophers, but historians have finally placed the blame for America’s obesity problem exactly where it belongs… …with the Pilgrims! “Before the Pilgrims invaded our country, forced their way across our borders, and brought … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Why Didn’t The Pilgrims Discover Thanksgiving On A Monday?

Posted on November 24, 2015 by Austin

I don’t know much about the Pilgrims, Modern Philosophers, other than that they were extremely sharp dressers, they loved to travel by boat, and they knew how to throw a righteous feast. I remember there being some movie about their … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Gravy Train Derails On Way To Maine; Dry Thanksgiving Expected

Posted on November 18, 2014 by Austin

The New Hampshire Transportation Authority has confirmed that a Gravy Train bound for Maine derailed this evening about 15 miles from the state line. While no one was killed in the accident, several crew members were injured and rushed to … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Who Dressed The Pilgrims?

Posted on November 26, 2013 by Austin

Do you think The Pilgrims Always dressed Like they were going To a funeral? Maybe the reason They were Giving thanks Was because They knew a boat Would soon arrive With the new Spring fashions. Flirt with color, Plymouth Colony. … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

My Interview with the Last Living Survivor of the First Thanksgiving

Posted on November 22, 2012 by Austin

Happy Thanksgiving, Modern Philosophers! I have a very special interview to share with you on this holiday: my chat with someone who was at the very first Thanksgiving! Why we all have so much to be thankful for, I need … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

Challenge Accepted: Why I’m Thankful

Posted on November 22, 2012 by Austin

I was speaking to a colleague about what I should do for a Thanksgiving Day entry on the blog, and she challenged me with: “You’re the creative one.  Figure out something different.” While the Modern Philosopher’s way is to go … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Some Thanksgiving Themed Ponderings to Exercise Your Brain

Posted on November 19, 2012 by Austin

Some Turkey Day related Deep Thoughts to keep your brain pumping on this frigid November evening… Do you ever secretly wish that the Pilgrims had come from Italy so that we could have pasta and pizza for Thanksgiving dinner instead … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments