Tag Archives: Politics

Trump Hires Snow Miser To Quell Global Warming Talk

While temperatures skyrocketed into the 90s during the last week of September, Republicans panicked as renewed talk of Global Warming spread across the country faster than sweat across a hairy, fat man’s back during a heat wave, Modern Philosophers. Desperate … Continue reading

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If A Tree Falls In The Forest, Would Trump Blame Obama?

Great philosophical debate is always on the agenda at The House on the Hill, Modern Philosophers. The interns might be annoying, but they do know how to keep the Deep Thoughts flowing. It was the one with the nose ring … Continue reading

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The Devil’s Chief Of Staff

I wildly shoveled another forkful of omelet into my mouth like I hadn’t had anything to eat in weeks. Sure, I was embarrassed by my gluttonous behavior, but it was so delicious, and I was absolutely ravenous after my morning … Continue reading

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The Rise of the Ice Cream Socialists

At a time when our President cannot find the words to condemn Nazis and white supremacists, I think it’s time to support a new political party to lead our nation back from the brink of Trump-ageddon, Modern Philosophers. I offer … Continue reading

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Americans Eager To Celebrate Their Independence…From Trump

As Independence Day quickly approaches, Modern Philosophers, a new poll reveals that Americans are more eager than ever to celebrate their freedom. But we’re not talking about independence from Merry Ole England… According to a phone poll conducted by the … Continue reading

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Trump Hires Aaron Sorkin To Script His Next 100 Days

In response to his plummeting approval ratings, President Trump has made the bold move to hire award winning writer Aaron Sorkin to script the next one hundred days of his Presidency, Modern Philosophers. “Aaron is an amazing writer,” Trump told … Continue reading

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Pope Bathes In Holy Water For Days After Trump’s Visit

Pope Francis was so effected by President Trump’s recent visit to the Vatican that the Pontiff bathed in holy water for several days after the Orange Menace departed. “The Holy Father wanted to ensure that he did not become possessed … Continue reading

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