Tag Archives: Pope Francis

Where The Devil Don’t Go

Posted on May 28, 2017 by Austin

“Guess where I got to go this week,” The Devil challenged excitedly as he burst into the living room as if shot out of a cannon.  “I’ll even give you a clue: it’s someplace I haven’t been allowed to set … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Politics, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Pope Bathes In Holy Water For Days After Trump’s Visit

Posted on May 27, 2017 by Austin

Pope Francis was so effected by President Trump’s recent visit to the Vatican that the Pontiff bathed in holy water for several days after the Orange Menace departed. “The Holy Father wanted to ensure that he did not become possessed … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Pope Okays Chocolate Eucharist For Easter Mass

Posted on April 11, 2017 by Austin

Pope Francis gave Catholics an early Easter present today, Modern Philosophers, when he announced that he has approved the use of chocolate Eucharists by churches at Easter Sunday Mass. The move, which drove old school Catholics to their rosaries to … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Heavenly Apprentice? Trump Tells The Pope He’s Fired

Posted on February 20, 2016 by Austin

Donald Trump, having grown bored with picking on the other Republican Presidential Candidates, has decided to bully someone else in the week leading up to the South Carolina Primary, Modern Philosophers. And God knows, he couldn’t have picked a more … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Blood Moons, Eclipses, Floods…Is God Trying To Break Up With Us?

Posted on October 1, 2015 by Austin

What if God was one of us?/ Just a slob like one of us?/ Just a stranger on the bus/ Trying to break up with us??? Joan Osborne might have written those first three lines, Modern Philosophers, but I had … Continue reading →

Posted in Dating, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Pope Francis Asked To Exorcise Maine’s LePage Demons

Posted on July 8, 2015 by Austin

Pope Francis has been asked to come to Maine, Modern Philosophers, to exorcise my state of its LePage Demons. That would be a reference to Governor Paul LePage, the man who seems hellbent on running Maine into the ground while … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Pope To Host Hot Wing Buffet For Father’s Day

Posted on June 21, 2015 by Austin

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
Modern Philosophers, we are now living in a world where it isn’t truly a holiday unless Pope Francis is throwing some sort of party to celebrate! The Pontiff announced his plans…

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Disney Buys The Rights To The Bible; Sequels In The Works

Posted on May 27, 2015 by Austin

Now that Disney has taken over the Star Wars saga and proven that The Force is strong with them, the company has decided to set its sights on the second greatest story every told. From Vatican City to Hollywood Blvd, … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

Who Picks Up The Check When Zeus And Pope Francis Go To Lunch?

Posted on April 11, 2015 by Austin

Despite the ugly weather, I’d decided to go out for a walk.  I was hoping the fresh air would clear my head of the thoughts that were leading me down a path darkened by black clouds and despair. The walk … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 60 Comments

Try To Make It More Than Just A Good Friday…

Posted on April 3, 2015 by Austin

It’s Good Friday, Modern Philosophers! That doesn’t mean you just have to settle for a good Friday, though.  Why not see if you can make it a great one? It’s Friday, after all.  The weekend is finally here.  It’s supposed … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments