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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2019. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Relationships
Banking On A No Interest Pick Up Line
June was just minding her own business, filling out a deposit slip, when the guy approached her. She was an attractive woman, so this was not the first time a stranger had tried to strike up a conversation, but she’d … Continue reading
Posted in Dating, Humor, Writing
Tagged banks, dating, flash fiction, humor satire, meet cute, Modern Philosopher, pick up lines, Relationships, sarcasm, short story
14 Comments
My Own Personal Death Star
A long time ago, in a neighborhood far, far away, a lonely boy sat in his bedroom in Brooklyn, and dreamed about growing up to be a Jedi Knight. That sad, lonely, nerdy boy was me, Modern Philosophers. You didn’t … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged Death Star, Humor, Jedi, life, Modern Philosopher, movies, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, Star Wars
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The Ghost Busting My Balls
I was exhausted today because I didn’t sleep well last night, Modern Philosophers, and I know exactly who’s to blame… My ex-wife! Sure, we’ve been divorced for fifteen years, and I haven’t seen her for almost as long, but that … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged divorce, Dreams, ex-wife, Ghosts, Humor, Modern Philosopher, nightmares, Relationships, sarcasm, satire
9 Comments
Learning To Break The Ice Mr Miyagi Style
Dating is difficult, Modern Philosophers. Wait. Let me clarify that. Dating is difficult for me. Everyone I know is either married or in a relationship, so I appear to be the only one struggling with the concept of dating. Imagine … Continue reading
Posted in Dating, Humor
Tagged breaking the ice, dating tips, Humor, meeting someone, Modern Philosopher, Mr Miyagi, Online Dating, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, The Karate Kid
21 Comments
I Love You: A Valentine’s Day Rant
I love you. I said it, Modern Philosophers. I love you. Maybe I should clarify. I’m not telling everyone who reads this post that I love them. I just didn’t want to be left out of the fun on Valentine’s … Continue reading
Posted in Dating, Humor, Love
Tagged dating, Humor, I love you, Love, Modern Philosopher, Philosophy, rant, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, Valentines' Day
16 Comments
Do Not Propose On Valentine’s Day!
I might not have any plans for Valentine’s Day, Modern Philosophers, but if I did have a special someone, I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty what I would not be doing… Asking her to marry me. I … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love
Tagged advice, dating, Humor, Love, marriage proposal, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, Valentines' Day, Will you marry me?
10 Comments
Republicans Oppose Cupid’s Plan For Universal Love
Apparently, President Trump and the Republican Party do not believe that everyone deserves to have a happy Valentine’s Day, Modern Philosophers. The Republicans today vowed to shoot down Cupid’s proposed plan for Universal Love. According to the plan set forth … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love, Politics
Tagged Bernie Sanders, Cupid, Humor, Love, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, socialism, Trump, Valentines' Day
18 Comments
